My Christmas Gifts
Warning: Don't bother to read this if you have no time...
Why give gifts?
Many Christmases have passed by and I have been giving gifts to others each Christmas. We also used to have gifts-exchange time in church too. But it seems that gradually these activities have become just a commercial practice where its true meaning has lost. We have not been doing it for the last few Christmases. We believe more in giving throughout the year rather than once in a year.
What did I give?
For this coming Christmas I didn't buy any gift, except 5 Christmas cards. Why send Christmas cards when I can send e-cards? Well, my personalized, hand-written cards (though one commented my handwriting is 'ugly'), with my 5 individually composed Christmas poem, take effort, thoughts, and time, especially when I have to send some of them oversea. So the 5 who have got my cards are somewhat special to me, isn't it?
Who can appreciate my gifts?
Yet not everyone can appreciate such actions. :( To those who do: "Thank You Very Much" for appreciating it. In fact, one of them has also spent much time to make something for me in return, though I might only get it after Christmas.... it's ok, for I appreciate the thought and effort very much! :)
The gift of timeRichard said at his blog, "Time is far more precious than money. If you run out of money, there are a myriad of ways you can generate more. If you run out of time, there is no way you can generate more."
Indeed time is life itself. When we give time to a person we are giving part of our life to him/her. I value the time people give to me more than anything else... for money can't buy time, and that's what I wish to give to those I care too. But again, not everyone see the value of time.
Giving to the wrong people
Richard also mentioned in one of his comment to another blog, "I know all too well the feeling of always giving and not getting as much in return. Sometimes it seems that when I stop giving, I stop getting. If I don't call people, they don't call me."
Yes, that's exactly how I feel too. Very often I have to be the one to initiate a chat/conversation/call... if I don't do it, the other person will not initiate it. They only do when they need my help or info. *sigh* Is it so hard to just say "Hi" or "Good morning" when you see your friends (especially the close ones) online, even if you are busy and don't intend to chat? I feel quite discourage over this at times.
Giving to the right peopleJesus advised, "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6)
"The swine cannot possibly appreciate the beauty and complexity of a fine, rare pearl. The swine only sees that they are not edible, and therefore dismisses them as unimportant and worthless, trampling those costly gems underfoot... You have twenty-four hours available to you today -- 86,400 seconds.... Those seconds are your pearls. Where you cast them is completely up to you. " (Twenty-Four Hours)
Re-evaluating who to give
I guess I need to re-evaluate my friendship/relationship with people who don't have affinity with me and to start anew for 2006. I only have 24-hours a day. Time is my life, so I need to prioritize my time and give it only to those who could appreciate it. I need to set my new year resolution soon and start moving on....
Thank you for taking time to read this far.... I appreciate it.
posted at 12/22/2005 04:42:00 PM |
Name: Bee
5 Comments:
Thanks for quoting me twice in one blog! I feel so honoured :-)
Typically, I have only given gifts to family members (2 parents and 2 siblings) - now, of course, it is a little larger with a wife and two kids, my wife's cousin and brother's fiancée.
Christmas cards I gave fairly freely to people, but this year I have only received 2 so far (may be more were directed to Montreal, but in Ottawa we only received two - last year was a miserable year for receiving cards as well) - which really puts a damper on wanting to send out Christmas cards to those who do not reciprocate - especially when I find my free time seems to grow shorter as I grow older.
I went Christmas gift shopping last night and couldn't find anything to buy. Aside from the children, I don't know what to get people. Everyone is quite well off and really lack for nothing. But what sort of symbolic gift can I buy that are not trite and will not end up in a closet? I like to give food baskets - but my family is afraid of what I might put in it :( I am known to be quite adventurous when it comes to picking "exotic" foodstuff.
I can't believe someone told you your handwriting was ugly. Your handwriting is your handwriting. (as an aside, I have never met an Asian person - except for - Filipinos - with legible handwriting - I always think it is because they learned a different writing system first and the European writing system later ... but, as usual, I digress)
For me, what is more valuable to receive is genuine friendship. I feel happier to receive a religious card (I despise the “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” cards – though, I make allowances for non-Religious friends) with a simple greeting than an impersonal form letter. I don’t know if you have ever received one, it is a summary / brag letter of what has happened to them over the year. The reason I dislike it is because it is impersonal. The same letter goes out to all people. I used to write more in my cards and even sometimes enclosed a letter, but they were all personalized to each person.
I pray that those with whom you have chosen to share this year appreciate the gift of yourself and you heart.
Just a word of advice, when you prioritize your life, please make sure you do not exclude people. I know many can seem ungrateful or not worth the effort but … another part of my experience’s shows me that many people are much more shy and insecure then they let on. A friendly call and a reminder help them feel better. One comment friends make about me is how much effort I spend in trying to keep in touch with people. Yes, I complain that sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it. It is a very difficult task to judge between the ingrates and the desolate. Some friends seem to always be lured away like the prodigal son, only to return later, thankful for an honest friendship.
BTW: I love the picture of the time and money you have selected (much better than mine –I just picked the first thing that looked reasonably good … can’t spend all day searching the internet for that perfect picture).
"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance her worth.
A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy"
Sirach 6, 14-16
ok, i'll greet u everytime i see u online. :P
Can't love without giving. Can give without loving. It's not the gift but the thought that counts? :)
Richard said: "Thanks for quoting me twice in one blog! I feel so honoured :-)"
Welcome. :) You do have nice stuff too. :)
Richard said: "I can't believe someone told you your handwriting was ugly. Your handwriting is your handwriting."
Thanks for thinking otherwise. Perhaps that particular handwriting for that card was 'extremely ugly'. But you are right... my handwriting is part of me... like it or not. :P
Richard said: "It is a very difficult task to judge between the ingrates and the desolate. Some friends seem to always be lured away like the prodigal son, only to return later, thankful for an honest friendship."
It's not difficult to know after knowing them for a long time... I begin to see a pattern in how they act or react towards me, then I will know if they are real friends. Well, they may consider me their real friends because of how I treat them, but unfortunately, they may not recipocate and be a real friend to me. *sigh* Yet I never refuse to help or to reach out to them when they need me.
David said: "ok, i'll greet u everytime i see u online. :P"
hehe, let's see. Thanks! But pls do it b'cos u really regard me as freind and not out of 'obligation' , ok?
Michael said: "Can't love without giving."
Right, so we know who loves and cares, and who doesn't.
bee asked: why give gifts?
to me - its always the 'joy' in giving; and i take this once-a-year tradition to make merry, cos i cant afford giving gifts throughout the year, hehe! its costly. ;>
can only afford spiritual gifts like care and concern throughout.
i'd love to receive cards, they're for 'keeps' and yes, very personal. i dont get to receive any physical cards nowadays, i guess people(like me) are too busy to spend time shopping for cards and writing them. been getting e-cards for the last 2-3 years which i eventually had to trash them away for more space.
you said it well: "Who can appreciate my gifts? Yet not everyone can appreciate such actions." - i agree to this!
"Giving to the right people"
as Richard said: "It is a very difficult task to judge between the ingrates and the desolate....." ;
bee said: "It's not difficult to know after knowing them for a long time...."
- i find it hard to be selective of my 'giving' for the right people (that's my weakness); wish i could be like u to "re-evaluate who to give" coming 2006!
cheers!!
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