Winners vs Losers

Excerpts from Winners vs Losers:

"According to your faith be it unto you." - Matthew 9:29

A winner sees an opportunity in every risk while a loser sees a risk in every opportunity. Winners know that to risk nothing is to risk everything, that if
they are going to win they need to be willing to try, to take chances, and to risk failure. That is, they have to be willing to strike out if they are going to hit home runs.......

True winners make sure their goal is in harmony with God's will and, because of this, they know that with his help there is always a way to achieve their goal.
Furthermore, they believe in their cause. And they believe in themselves in a healthy way. Therefore they expect to win, believe they will, and do so.

They also know that if they tried and did their best, they have already won.

My Thoughts:

I used to be a "loser" in the past by the above definition. I was a very pessimistic person, or you may call me a 'worrier'. ;)

However, I have changed a lot over the years. As I began to know and trust God more each day, I have become a "winner" by the above definition again. The secret of my change is found in the second excerpt, where I make sure what I do is in harmony with God's will as much as possible.

How?

To know God's will, I need to read the Bible daily, go to church every Sunday, have fellowship with Christians who love Jesus, pray for guidance, and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit prompting in my heart.

Right, all of you can be a "winner" too if you do likewise. :D

My New Look

When I was at the shopping mall yesterday, I just felt the urge to change my hairstyle. I simply pointed to one of the poster and told my stylish to style mine accordingly. So now my long hairdo for the last 2 over years has become medium length, just touching my shoulder like the pictures above. My long fringe is gone too.

I felt so fresh again after my haircut. Perhaps it's a psychological effect that I felt as if I am starting my life all over again. Yes, my poem Beautiful Truth and this symbolic act has helped prepare me for my new life venture and put behind things of the past and move on in faith and strength of the Lord.

One chapter of my life has closed. Wish me well. :)

Me and My Church

Wow! Thank God for keeping me faithful to my church. :)

Thank you, Bee, for completing the Me and My Church test. The analysis of your response is as follows:

Factors

46 out of 60

Conclusions:

Looking at how you scored ...

Score 6-20 Perhaps some serious heart-searching and consideration is required to consider why there seems to be a significant lack of being 'connected' to your local body of believers.

Score 21-45 In the middle ground. Are there aspects of your involvement that need prayerful consideration and perhaps some discussion with those in leadership?

Score 45-60 We think you should be encouraged.

Consider

"Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." [1 Cor 12:27]

"Most Christians want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilities."
George Verwer

Career Check Up

This test is something new and interesting. It makes me ponder over my current career. You may like to try it and share with me your result. Mine is below:

Thank you, Bee, for completing the Career Check up test. The analysis of your response is as follows:

Statements

89 out of 100

Career Check up

See below to see what your score might imply.

25-60: Your job brings you very little job satisfaction and may even be causing you a sense of emotional, psychological and/or physical pain. You may find that it affects your self-esteem, your relationships and your spiritual life. Your health and general sense of well-being could well depend on your making some changes in your work situation!

61-70: Your feelings about your job may fluctuate between dissatisfaction and toleration, but you do not feel deeply excited or enthusiastic about your job. For the most part, your work does not bring you a sense of enjoyment or fulfilment.

71-89: Right now work may be satisfying, overall. There may be, however, one or more key components that you rated low that are motivating you to consider other job or career options.

90-100: If work "feels good," you are most likely in a job that is a good match. If, however, your job doesn't feel quite right for you, there may be some key satisfaction factors that are not being met and would be worthwhile to explore. Perhaps God has something better in store for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what does it mean?

Perhaps if your score indicates a level of uncertainty and dissatisfaction it would be good to spend time reflecting on why this is the case. Sometimes God does allow unsettling experiences to give us a gentle 'nudge' into something new. At other times the root may simply be in our attitude to the job rather than the job itself.

God wants us to be fulfilled in living out our lives in line with his plans and utilising the gifts we have. If you are unsure that you are in the place of God's choice, or he may be 'nudging' you towards some area of Christian service, why not consider the designate programme offered by CV. Examine your gifts. Reflect on what the bible has to say about vocation, gifts and service.

What Job Suits Me?

My career is taking a different form ever since I left my previous job last month. I have been doing lots of research, reading up lots of info from books and internet, and also seek godly counsels from people who are familiar with what I am about to embark into. When God closed one door, He opened so many that I don't know which one to choose. *eyes rolling* I need to prayerfully bring them to God to guide me to the right one.

While surfing the net I came across a site Releasing God's People Into God's Work. I did my first test and got my result below. Maybe God is preparing for mission work? You may like to try the test yourself and share with me your result.



Questionnaire results:

Thank you for completing the questionnaire. Below will find the top 3 category matches to your answers. In addition, there may also be a selection of keywords that help to define the type of position you may be suited for.

ACTIVITY CATEGORIES
Education	Primary, Secondary and Higher Education, Houseparents, TEFL / TESOL Teaching, Theological and Vocational Education.
Support Ministries	Including: Administration, Computers, Finance, Logistics, Management, Personnel, Secretarial, Conference Centre Management, Tentmaking Professionals, etc.
Engineering	This will include: Aviation, Construction Trades, Engineering, Maintenance and Practical roles.
KEYWORDS
	Administration (which will include Secretary, Manager, etc as unseen synonymous words) Children / Youth Disciple (which will include Pastor, Counsellor, Minister, Youth Worker as unseen synonymous words) Tentmaker (Business, Professionals, Enterprising, TEFL, etc.) Accountant (Bookkeeper, Finance) Leadership (Management, Director) Evangelism

My VisualDNA™

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

My 2006

Time passes extremely fast this year and tomorrow will be another new year. As I read my post, My 2005, I could see some similarities to my life in 2006.

For me, 2005 is the worst year in my life as an adult... I lost many things dear to me...
my career
my study
my loved ones
my self-esteem
my confidence

In 2006,
I have a good career... I enjoyed my work though I have to work very long hours and had discouragements at times;
I discontinued my doctorate study... see no purpose to add another degree to my Masters;
I lost my mum... but it's a blessing in disguise;
I found love... but lost it again, feeling I am a terrible person.

In 2006, I also have the most memorable or the most embarrassing moment of my life... I broke my own record of not meeting my online friends. I finally met my online best friend... or I must say that I had been 'ambushed' and got 'hijacked' when I was shopping in KL about 2 weeks ago. I wished I could dig a hole and bury my head in it then and I felt so retarded. *blushing*

It took me one whole day and night to get over it. I told myself that's going to be the first and last time I'll be caught by surprise. I actually felt so sorry for my reaction, which must be quite shocking to my best friend. However, we had a good laugh and a good time together.

So is my 2006 any better than the one before? Maybe slightly. For that I should be grateful to God and be thankful.


So now what about my 2007? What do I hope to achieve?

Erm... I still hope God will bring me 'home' soon in a peaceful way. If not, I pray that God will use me to make someone's life more meaningful. Only then will I find the reason for me to live.

Love Never Fails

Hmmn.... I have not been blogging for a long time, unlike in the past where I used to blog daily. I discovered that blogging helped me let down my hair, to de-stress, to express myself, my thoughts and feelings. I have too much pent up feelings to release then.

However, after the passing of my mum I seemed to have nothing much to blog about. Perhaps her death has set me free from my years of anguish. Now I just bury myself in work most of the time and have no more energy or time left to look into my heart, to feel or to think too much. Is this good or bad? I hope I have not become a robot.

Many things have happened in my life the past few months... the sweet and the bitter, the high and the low. I have learned many things along the way somehow. It's like what Ecclesiastes 1 says:

2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

3 What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

I seem to be slowly finding the word "love" just a meaningless word too... it seems to be a non-existing word in my experiences... a "chasing after the wind" (Ecclesiastes 2: 11, 17, 26).

Yes, all things seem meaningless till I go to God in my devotion and prayer. My devotion time is like a 'battery charger' that charges my flatten spirit daily. In my last night devotion in Impaired Vision I am reminded again that "Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8-13).

I like the article I read while doing my devotion that says:

"Love that never fails goes beyond reason and refuses to settle for justice alone but insists on granting mercy."

"Love that never fails is yours to receive and yours to give."


Right, God's love that never fails is for me to receive. His love that never fails is for me to give. Yesterday, I shared God's love with a job applicant after listening to her very sad story about her broken marriage. I felt deep compassion for her. I pray that she too will receive the love of God that never fails soon.

The New Me

I have been stressed by work for the last few months though I did enjoy my work. Few days ago, something unpleasant and hurtful came to me as a surprise (or maybe not so surprising, since it's not the first time). I was feeling very low... but the words of God quickly lifted me up again through my nightly devotions. Thank God for His words.

In the past, whenever I felt stressful or down I would cut my own hair, after which I would feel fresh again. I used to have short hair then, so I could do it on my own any time. But ever since I started to wear long hair 2 years ago, it's difficult for me to do it by myself and I don't have the time to go to the hairdresser. Yesterday, I finally went to the hairdresser and had my hair cut shorter. I really felt fresh again instantly, with all the dead ends trimmed away, giving me a fresh new look. :D






When I was driving pass a few nurseries after church service this afternoon, I suddenly had the urge to buy some plants home.

I am a plants lover and had green green fingers. I used to enjoy tendering to my home plants in the past. However, due to busyness I have no time to enjoy my hobby.... all my home plants went dead. :( Well, just like I had my new hairdo yesterday to signify the new me, I bought home these plants to keep me feeling fresh too. You won't believe that I carried them home by myself. Very tiring of course.. my arms and back would be aching tomorrow. :(

So here I have a new hairdo, some new plants and the NEW ME!

My Rantings for the Day

Blogger troubles...
For the last few days, I have been having problems posting at bloggers. I always get an error message each time I tried to post. I have to post many times at different time of the day to finally get them posted. *sigh* Not sure if I am the only one having this problem.

Me workaholic...
I am a confirmed workaholic! Sad.. sad. :( My work never seems to end and I still have a long minutes of meeting (6 hours) which I need to listen and type but just couldn't find the time to do so. I am hoping to download free voice-to-text converter so it could ease my typing. Does anyone know where to find that software?

My sanity...
I guess God knows I am such a sensitive and sentimental person that if I am not kept occupied at all times, I may die of a broken heart sooner or later. Busyness keeps me from emotional 'disaster'. :P

My devotion...
One thing I am thankful to God for is the devotional times I kept daily since last Oct. They are life to my spirit and water to soul, always bringing me back to sanity whenever my mind is crowded with stressful events or thoughts. Just like in today's devotion, I learned about Sowing and Reaping. I need to reorder my life to reap the right stuff I want.

That's all for today... Thank you for 'listening'.

Flattered

BUZZZZZZZZZZ....... Busy, busy, busy....... No time to blog, to reflect, to admire nature, to feel my heart....

Surprised by a "long lost" friend's testimonial for me that says:

Truly a gem. A diamond that shines so bright that others see the beauty of her character at all times. Having passion for all things alive that God created, never failing to to meet the needy with her limited time.

She has a good teacher, that's one thing for sure. That'll be Jesus. She's warm, affectionate, wise, beautiful, sweet, a great listener, clumsy, blur and sometimes a bit opinionated... hehe



Oh, thanks for the testimonial. I am flattered! But are you sure I am like that or not? I think I am just an ordinary gal next door....

Thanks for the compliment, my friend. :)

Lonely

Warning: this is an emo post.

Everyone is lonely.
No one seems to have a "true" friend.
That's how it is around me.

I find the people around me all searching for that Something, that someone.
And worse of all, I find that I am one of that everyone.
It is just that everyone reacts differently to this thing that they are feeling and searching for.

We are all searching for that someone, yet no one seems to meet our expectation.
For me, I gave that dream up long ago. So long that I don't remember a time when I was actually actively looking for that special someone.
For others, they are still searching, and hoping in vain to find that someone.

I fancy myself as a subtle-strong kind of person.
I lend strength to my friends in a subtle kind of way. By trying to be a constant predictable kind of person.
Like a rock. You won't quite notice it coz it doesn't seem to do anything. It doesn't interfere. But if you need it, for whatever reason, the rock is still there to do what it can do. But a rock have little abilities other than to be there and strong for itself.
That's what I fancy myself to be. A person with a relatively strong kind of character.
I don't know whether it's true.

The problem with being that kind of person is that the people around you don't quite know when you are weak. And often, people like that are also proud, and hence do not say when they are weak.
Who's gonna be strong for me?
I don't want to be a problem to people. And I know I become one when I share my problems.
Which is why I hardly share.
I can't find anyone around my age I dare to be a problem to.

Sometimes I wonder, have I made myself so "suay bian" (easy) until my feelings get overlooked? Not that I mind a lot coz I rather have peace than to have my way.
But sometimes I get fed up that no one seems to see what I'm seeing.
I don't mind that much if no one follows my way.
I get fed up when ppl get pissed with me when my hands are tied.

I'm lonely and I try to seek my comfort from God.
Coz I know He's the only one who can really be strong for me.
The only one whom I know I won't be a problem to coz He doesn't face problems.
He can handle Everything

- by Eliz (15-year-old student)

My Thoughts:

When I read the above post, I felt as if she is talking about me. Wow! we seem so similar!

I am in a dilemma lately. It's a good thing my work busyness has given me no chance to think too much. I get very tired every night and feel like sleeping at about 11 p.m. That's why I hardly blog here. I long for weekends to come,then at least I can sleep longer.

Goodnight.

My Brain Tests

Result of my 1st test using my name - 20 questions

I am more logical and auditory












Result of my 2nd test using nos "50" - 50 questions

I am more balance using both my left & right brain



Conclusion: I think 2nd test is more accurate about me as I have to answer 50 questions.

Try it yourself at http://ftp.ccccd.edu/lipscomb/16_week_course/brain_lab.htm

Memories Still Stay

Eliza (15-year-old blogger) said she saw a transformation of her life now compared to her a year ago, as she read through her last year's blog entries. Her blog entries have been changed from those of herself and all her complaints to those of her reflections about God and all His blessings.

I felt inspired to read my old blogs again too. I also see a transformation in my life compared to me in 2003, the year I started blogging. Memories was my first poem. The last verse is still valid for the present:

I remember the people I met
Those who made me sad and those who made me glad
How should I feel or what shall I say
They have all played a part
In making what I am today

Yes, the people I met, especially the online ones, have played a great part in my life. I have surpassed the phase of looking for earthly love to that of staying in God's love. I no longer yearn for earthly love now, especially after my mum passed away. Perhaps her death has brought along with her my unspeakable distress, and therefore, my yearning for someone who could fully understand me too. Anyway, I have learnt that such a person never exist, even though at times he comes close to being one, yet he's like an illusion that just slips away. Only God can meet all my needs.

God is the most important person in my life now. Without Him, my life would have gone hay wired. I have learnt to make Him my first love.

Second is my work, which basically involves working with people. I like helping others improve and excel. Most importantly I hope that I will make a difference in their life, that they will come to believe in my God too.

Third would be my "best friend", who will forever be just my "best friend" and nothing more. My "best friend" is important to me because we have been through our spiritual journey together daily since last year Oct. We read the same bible passages together daily, share our daily encounters with each other whenever we have the time, and now we also pray together.

Thank God for my "best friend". I will treasure his friendship now while I can. For I know that there will come a day that someone else will replace me, in God's time. My blessing will go with him and his new "best friend" when that happens. Take care.

Sweet Innocence

I think it's not too bad to marry your 1st boyfriend.
You want experience?
Bleah. Experience a broken heart more likely.

Marrying your 1st boyfriend will get you all the same romance, MINUS the broken heart.
Minus the "trying to get over a guy" stage.
And wouldn't it be cool if your husband was the first for everything?
First kiss, first time to hold hand, first to show you the world of erm love.. etc.
No variation you say?
You don't get to see what it's like to be with another, and you can't compare.
Is the love with the guy you're gonna marry so shallow that you have to compare it with another guy's love to see if it's good? If it's better?

Call me a NUT CASE, but i shall not conform to the world.
Maybe i'm a little immature to speak abt topics like this but heck. i want to know what i thought like when i was 15.

Hey, sure friends, go out and experience the world.
Experience love. Experience everything and get a "life".
Then come back and tell me some day.
I think my soul would be better off than yours.
More whole, more complete.
More to give.

- by a 15-year-old blogger, dated 19 May 06

My Reflection:

Ah.... that's exactly how I felt at that age and I maintained that stand all along. ;)

It's nice to once again remember my innocence as I read the thoughts of another innocent sweet-15-year-old gal. Hmn.. now I feel young again. :) Free from emotional entanglements... just me, God, and pure friends. Isn't that what I should be experiencing when I am up in heaven? All things sweet, pure and beautiful!

Though young in age, there are so much things we can learn from this lass. She is much wiser than many her age as she has God to guide her life. Yes, at times she may feel down like any gals do, yet she quickly rise up again as she seeks God. I like reading her blog.

Mama Hao

Mama Hao (Mom Dearest)

世上只有妈妈好
有妈的孩子像个宝
投进了妈妈的怀抱
幸福享不了

世上只有妈妈好
没妈的孩子像根草
离开妈妈的怀抱
幸福哪里找

In pinyin:

Shi shang zhi you ma ma hao
you ma de hai zi xiang ge bao.
tou jin ma ma de huai bao
xin fu xiang bu liao.

shi shang zhi you ma ma hao
mei ma de hai zi xiang ge cao
li kai ma ma de huai bao
xin fu na li zhao.


In English translation:

Mommy's the only dearest in the world
With a mom, you have the most valued treasure.
Jump into mom's heart
and you have endless happiness.

Mommy's the only dearest in the world
without a mom you are like a piece of grass/straw
away from mom's heart,
where will you find happiness?



My Reflection

In our Church Service this morning, we were asked to sing the above song for all the mothers. Emotion overwhelmed me... I felt choked. In fact, we were also asked to sing it during my mom's funeral too. :'(

Even the devotion tonight on A Mother's Love also adds on to my reflective mood.

Since young, whenever I heard the above song, I would cry or felt sad. I wished I had a mom just like what the lyric says. Nobody will ever understand how I feel. No one, except God.

Reflective Mood Again

I have been in a very reflective mood again lately and have started to compose poem after laying it off for a while. Now even more so as I mark my loss in my two recent poems:

My pains

I looked for love

For those of you who have given me your comforting words during the demise of my mother, I want to say "Thank You Very Much". I will remember you as much as you remember me. Life is short, love while you can. If you love someone, let him/her know soon... you might not have a chance if you delay.

I am very tired... need to sleep early.

Goodnight. God bless you.

My Turn-Off

What is my "Turn-Off"?

When I ask you a question and your reply is....

In fact, I really hate this reply.

Unfortunately, somebody just replied me with that word yesterday. I literally turned-off. I became silent, I was angry and hurt within, especially since I had made it so clear in my last post that that word could piss me off.

Yet I don't hold my anger forever... it always go away before the sunset. But that doesn't mean I forget my lesson.

Never say "Nevermind" again...

Being Me

I am surprised by friend Stuart's comment on my post She Is Just Like Me. He really knows me very well, even though we haven't been contacting each other much for a long time. The fact is I didn't change much over the last few years, except maybe getting a bit wiser (I hope). ;)

Stuart's commented:

She looks like u too. :)

You feel very frustrated when you are being stifled and silenced. You need to be heard even if the other person may not agree with you. You get very pissed off if the other person simply say "nevermind" and refuses to reason with you. For that makes you look like a very unreasonable person, which you are not.

When you believe in something, you are very influential and people follow you. You are a natural salesperson, not by bluffing or speaking well, but by your belief and sincerity.

That's what I know about you. Let me know if I am wrong in anyway. =D

Thanks, Stuart, for your comment. Didn't know you know me so well. :) The best part is the things you mentioned are critical to BEING ME.

These things about me are things not many people can appreciate, unless they really love me and see them as values/virtues. Thus, the inability to appreciate and accept me as I am also affects the ability of me forming a close relationship with these people. But I am contented to have the few friends who do... they form my close loop of friends.


Yes, I continue to see the blogger, Eliz, a reflection of me as a teen as she talked about her leadership role in school:

Anyway, i decided that this is the course laid out for me.
I have one year to make the best of the situation.
I rmb repeatitively asking Him to mould me in sec 1 or was it sec 2?
And so, this is part of it.
Whatever it is, i'm gonna come out of this a better person and more equipped to do whatever His plan is for me.
Maybe i'm to learn abt ppl, managing ppl etc.
I, who doesn't know the future, shall simply trust in HIM, who does.
He sees what i can't.
It is wiser to trust in the wise then to try to be wise.

- Eliz, 15 April 06

Hmmn... her thinking is more matured than many who are much older than her. Many I know who are in their 30s still think like a child. Her faith in God is also strong though at times it might waver a little, but she soon gets back on the right track... just like what happened to me. :)

She Is Just Like Me

She reminds me of myself when I was a teenager. What a 15 years old Christian school girl wrote at her blog portrays so much of me even now, except mine would be....
"The End.
Dun talk to me abt this post.
Coz i will just cry." (if you are close to me)

I see the slope again.
Downhill i go.

With great power comes great responsibilty.
With great responsibilty comes great burdens.
With great burdens come great stress.

I'm not a good leader. I know it. I can tell.
It is not really my nature to be a leader.
What i simply am, is that i have my OPINIONS, and i just like to voice them out.
I need to be heard, i need to be understood.
If you differ in opinion, give me good reasons why and i'll accept ur side.
Silence me, prevent me from speaking, and all boils inside.

I can never lead ppl to what i do not believe in or understand.
I dun get the picture you paint, and thus i do not support it.
But everyone seems to, all except me.
Yet I'm to lead on in the discussion.
What's there to lead to when i'm the most lost?

I try, but you are unsatisfied.
Nothing is good enough.

Burdened, i leave late at night.
Troubled, i decided that i could not go on on my own.
I needed God's help.
On the bus, we talked and He spoke and somehow things seem like there are going to be alright again. The future looks gloomy, but in it i will still find light. I will find it.

On the phone, you burst at me. A tired me.
On the phone, you accuse me. A tired and irritated me.
On the phone, you cancelled our plans. It was fine by me.
At home, you scolded becoz of me. A down and burdened me. I didn't care.
At home, you chided me. I, who did nothing wrong but was simply not at home.
At home again, you chided me. I, who had let it go for the sake of others.

"You" is not 1 person. Each "you" represents a different person.
Salt to my wound you were.

I will laugh with you, talk shallow talks with you.
But at the moment, i'm simply running.
Running to prevent being crushed.

I'm not gonna be crushed to bits under the billion and one pressure.
I'm gonna emerge a pearl.
Soon you'll see.
Instead of a crushed nothing, I'll be a pearl.
For it was Him, who made all the difference.

The End.
Dun talk to me abt this post.
Coz i will just laugh it off .

- Eliz, 14 April 06