Work And Relax

Thank God for blessing me in my work. Many exciting things have taken place this month. I can see God's hands in the work I do, though sometimes I may feel a little lost due to the heavy responsibility I have been entrusted with. Nevertheless, God has opened ways for me to be connected to people of influence, people who can help me do my work well.

Well, before I go into full swing in my work in July I will take a break first. Strange isn't it? :P

I will be going for my church retreat in Malaysia again during the first week of next month. This time round we will be climbing higher to Cameron Highland. As always, we will also include our shopping trip in KL over the 2 weekends (before and after retreat). After that some of us may proceed for another trip to BKK.

I am looking forward to it. :D

Work & Health Update

I have finally handed in my resignation letter on Monday....

I was not feeling well since the CNY. During those days at home, I dragged the thought of having to go back to work after the holidays. Actually, I already thought of leaving the company in January as I felt too much office politics at my working place. My one month notice to my company was waived and I got paid for a month w/o having to work. :)

I am now back to my headhunting career... feeling free and easy again. I will use this one month to seek God for His direction for my life. I know there is something God wants me to do.... but I am not sure what it is yet.

For the last few days I have been feeling very dizzy, with or w/o medication. The back of my head felt tight at times. At first I thought it was the effect of the cough mixture and the antibiotic. But now that I completed the medication and not taking them for more than a day, the dizziness still stays. Hmmn... sometimes I wonder if I am having a head tumor or something.

God Answered My Prayers

Praise God that the Christian colleague I mentioned in my post earlier is more ready to take up the challenges of work now. Instead of his original plan to take 2.5 weeks unpaid leave to get over his work stress (i.e. starting this coming Monday), he canceled them and will be back for work on Monday. God has answered my prayers for him. He is learning to trust God more.

I noticed that all my prayers for others always come to pass very quickly. It shows that God will always hear my prayers if I pray with an unselfish heart for others. Another example is my daily prayers for my best friend. They bear fruits... he is now more committed to God and is able to move on in his spiritual journey on his own without me. Next, I pray that God will give him a good help-mate in His time.

Time like these strengthens my trust in God and makes me more outward looking. Not that I don't trust God, but it makes me feel important to God... that He loves and cares for me very much to even answer my prayers. Yes, life can be exciting as I learn to pray and wait in expectancy for God to act, even on my smallest requests.

My God is not too busy... He is always there for those who trust in Him. :D

Tired but Acomplished and Happy

My workload never seems to end. I thought I could leave my office latest by 7 p.m. daily starting this year, yet I still got tied down with lots of work by 9 p.m. on most days. Coupled with my 'incurable' cough, I really felt very drained and tired everyday... I am losing weight now. :(

I didn't make any resolution this year, though I do have a goal as mentioned earlier. I am seeing my goal accomplishing as I prayed to God to make it true. So although I feel tired yet I feel accomplished and happy at work. :)

I had so many opportunities to touch the lives of people I spoke to daily. Example, today I spoke to one of my colleagues who wanted to resign due to work stress. In fact, his resignation letter was ready to be given to me. After listening to him for quite a long while, I shared with him my opinions and solutions. I was quite surprised that he told me he found me very different from all other managers he worked with before and he hoped I could be his mentor. He disclosed to me some personal things which he would not share with others. Thank God that he said he felt better after talking to me. He withdrew is resignation. Praise God!

It's time like this that I find my life worth living, that I have contributed to the happiness of others. Yes, it may seems that my happiness rest in the happiness of others just like in tonight's devotion title "How To be Happy" that mentioned the Ten Rules for Happier Living:

Give something away.
Do a kindness.
Give thanks always.
Work with vim and vigor.
Visit the elderly and learn from their experience.
Look intently into the face of a baby and marvel.
Laugh often—it’s life’s lubricant.
Pray to know God’s way.
Plan as though you will live forever—you will.
Live as though today is your last day on earth

:D

Confirmed Workaholic

Some thoughts came to my mind when I was doing my devotion on "Total Giving". Giving of material things is not as difficult compared to giving of our time. Our time is our life.

I may have given too much of my time to others more than to God. Each week (168 hours), I give to:

work - 70 hours or more (41.67%)
sleep - 49 hours (29.17%)
internet reading & misc - 21 hours (12.5%)
meals & bath - 14 hours (8.33%)
church - 7 hours (4.17%)
devotion - 7 hours (4.17 %)

So I am a real workaholic! Bad! I need to cut down on my time spent in work.

The following was forwarded by my friend. Maybe I should try to be in a ministry rather than in a job...

Some people have a JOB in the church;
others involve themselves in a MINISTRY.
What's the difference?

If you are doing it just because no one else will, it's a JOB.
If you are doing it to serve the Lord, it's a MINISTRY.
If you quit because somebody criticized you, it was a JOB.
If you keep on serving, it's a MINISTRY.
If you'll do it only as long as it does not interfere with your other activities, it's a JOB.
If you are committed to staying with it even when it means letting go of other things, it's a MINISTRY.
If you quit because no one praised you or thanked you, it was a JOB.
If you stay with it even though nobody recognizes your efforts, it is a MINISTRY.
It's hard to get excited about a JOB.
It's almost impossible not to be excited about a MINISTRY.
If our concern is success, it's a JOB.
If our concern is faithfulness, it's a MINISTRY.

An average church is filled with people doing JOBs.
A great and growing church is filled with people involved in MINISTRY.
Where do we fit in? What about us?
If God calls you to a MINISTRY, don't treat it like a JOB.
If you have a JOB, give it up and find a MINISTRY.
God does not want us feeling stuck with a JOB, but excited and faithful to Him in a MINISTRY.

- Author unknown -

The New Me

I have been stressed by work for the last few months though I did enjoy my work. Few days ago, something unpleasant and hurtful came to me as a surprise (or maybe not so surprising, since it's not the first time). I was feeling very low... but the words of God quickly lifted me up again through my nightly devotions. Thank God for His words.

In the past, whenever I felt stressful or down I would cut my own hair, after which I would feel fresh again. I used to have short hair then, so I could do it on my own any time. But ever since I started to wear long hair 2 years ago, it's difficult for me to do it by myself and I don't have the time to go to the hairdresser. Yesterday, I finally went to the hairdresser and had my hair cut shorter. I really felt fresh again instantly, with all the dead ends trimmed away, giving me a fresh new look. :D






When I was driving pass a few nurseries after church service this afternoon, I suddenly had the urge to buy some plants home.

I am a plants lover and had green green fingers. I used to enjoy tendering to my home plants in the past. However, due to busyness I have no time to enjoy my hobby.... all my home plants went dead. :( Well, just like I had my new hairdo yesterday to signify the new me, I bought home these plants to keep me feeling fresh too. You won't believe that I carried them home by myself. Very tiring of course.. my arms and back would be aching tomorrow. :(

So here I have a new hairdo, some new plants and the NEW ME!

Stormy Sea Of Life

My work has taken more than 50% of my time daily, and I am beginning to feel the strain. There are so much to do, so little time and so lacking in manpower. Tiredness set in as time goes by. All my energy has been drained.

Something unhappy happened two days ago and I really felt like quiting. I felt the injustice, but I don't wish to defend myself, for God knows. It's time like this I begin to think about what it is that God wants me to do.

I feel better today, even though there are more things that happened at my workplace that require my attention... more issues to resolve. I don't mind all these... I like challenges... they make my work interesting actually.

Thank God for tonight's devotion that reminds me that my God can calm my 'stormy sea' of life.

Dear Lord,

Thank You for calming the 'stormy sea' of my life.
Thank You for the many blessings in disguise.
Thank You for Your love that never die.
Thank You for always hearing my heart's cry.

-Your child, Bee

Work and Me

I am very accident prone to accident, said my best friend. True, I just got my finger cut by my office toilet roll holder last night. This is the 3rd time accident happened to me while at my new job. :(

Anyway, my job is quite challenging... keeping my mind busy, always thinking of creative and non-traditional ways to solve problems at work. At times, I felt frustrated by office politics, but I am learning how to get things done in spite of that. Thank God for giving me the strength to persevere on. I like the passage for tonight's devotion found in Isaiah 40:28-31:

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Btw, you may visit cssmania to spot the work of my best friend, and vote for him if you like. If you can spot his work, I shall give you a prize. :D

Exhausted

I am feeling very tired and exhausted. I woke up a few times last night in my sleep due to tummy aches... now body is aching.

One thing I am still trying to do to no avail is leaving my office by 7 p.m. *sigh* It seems I need a personal time keeper to chase me out of my office each day. If I continue to work till past 9 p.m. I might be burnt out just like Elvina. :(

Shall sleep early tonight. Good night.

He Answered My Prayers

Wow! God answered my simple prayers today by today!

I read Eliza's blog entry yesterday on how God has answered her prayers last Sunday on the same day. This morning, I decided to make 2 very specific prayers to God too.

First request: I prayed that I could catch the bus earlier than usual this morning so I could reach my office earlier. Usually, I have to wait for about 20 min or longer for the bus to arrive. But today, the bus came within 5 min. Thank God!

Second request: I prayed that God would help me manage my 'political' bosses well and that my work won't get stuck because of them. This afternoon, while I was having lunch with one of my bosses, another two came to join us. We had a good talk and after that I felt quite relieved as they promised to give me their support so I could do my job well without delay. Praise God!

Isn't my God wonderful? :)

One lesson I learnt is that I can learn things from someone younger than me, both in physical and spiritual age. Another lesson I learnt is that my prayers must be specific so I could see specific results. I also must have child-like faith to believe that God will answer my prayers when I pray.

Thank God for these lessons.

Sandwiched

It's been 3 weeks into my new work by now. I hope my enthusiasm won't die off as I encountered many man-made obstacles. I have been sandwiched between 2 'political parties' (my bosses). Each party tries to tell me their side of the story to win my 'vote'. That's how I felt. In so doing, my work got stuck. *sigh*

Anyway, I still like my job because I know I have contributed something in bringing my colleagues (not my bosses) together to work as a team and they feel more united now than before.

I attended a training workshop last night and the whole of today. It's a workshop on how to share Bible stories to children in creative ways. The lessons were very interesting, but the session today was too long for most participants. We reached our absorption limit after lunch. *yawning*


I have to disappoint someone close this weekend. I feel really sorry but I can't held it. "I'm SORRY". :(

Purpose In My Work

Talk abt God's purpose in your CCA (work).

Not just the CCA (work), but the position.

For every individual, there will be a different purpose.
What is yours?

Maybe you won't realise it till you get your calling.
Coz if He hadn't called me to this, I would never have identified and understood the purpose behind my CCA (work).

Don't just accept things as they are.
THINK.
Why are you where you are today?

- Eliza, 15 year-old blogger

The above blog thought makes me ponder. Why did God put me in the various positions I have been in so far?

I went away from my education career, but within 3 months I am back again. Not only that, I am put in a position of influence where I can change situations and lives, though it's a delicate task. I am there to be the change manager and leader. I need all the wisdom of God to say and do the right things.

I look forward to work everyday though I stay back late everyday too. I am excited by the tasks I have to perform and the challenges ahead. But one thing I dislike is politics at my workplace, even amongst those who claimed to be Christians. :(

So now it's my season to be where I am. I pray that I will bear many fruits in my season.

Yes, my present work occupies most of my waking hours. So during the weekdays, I really don't have much time to blog, other than doing my devotion blog. There is no time for me to think or feel too much or miss anyone. Isn't that good? No need to feel the emotional pain that most 20s or 30s feel. Weekend like now is my blogging day. It's good that I am not bound by the PC but have more time interacting with people at work.

That aside, I can't take leave for the Conference I mentioned, but I will try to attend the Seminar at night, "Affluence and Influence".

My Calling

I was somewhat disappointed with the unfair/unethical practices in the education industry by many 'players' and decided that it's time for a change. I left a few months ago, after being in it for about 10 years, for a totally different career I felt would be more meaningful and challenging. I went into headhunting... making many new contacts/friends while catching up with many old ones. I enjoyed my work very much though its reward may be slow... like growing a tree.

I never expect myself to go back to the education industry again, at least not so soon. But I guess God still wants me to be in it after all my years of trainings and experience in the education line. There are many things I can do to affect lives in this industry... it seems to be my calling. I could see it happening from my first day of work last week in my new capacity.

What one of my colleagues said to me has deeply carved on my mind. He said, "We are here for a season. God puts us here to fulfill a purpose. When we have finished our task it would be time to move on."

Yes, God has put me in this new job for a purpose. I will touch lives, I will change systems and policies, I will bring order and stability, and then move on when the time comes. I will do all these by God's strength and wisdom, not mine own.

I am beginning to see changes and is feeling very excited about them. Yet I know there will be many challenges and many resistance to change. But if this work is of God, He will sees to it that all resistance will fall.

As I ponder on my colleague's statement, I suddenly felt it could also apply to my relationship with people. God has allowed me to come into close contact with certain people... some just touch and go, some stay for a longer time, perhaps one or two may stay till we leave this earth. These are no coincidence. God has a purpose for me to be in their lives and they in mine. When that purpose has been fulfilled, it may be time for me to move on.

Ah, am I being too philosophical or introspective now? I have some time to myself today... so there I go again. :) Oh, my devotion tonight is also linked to my thoughts.

Work Place Challenges

My new job is getting more and more challenging. By now, I am a week old with my present company. I have been leaving my office at about 8 or 9 p.m. nightly without dinner. I am beginning to feel the strain physically, but I know I will not give up that easily. There are many things waiting for me to do. I will do them with God's grace and strength. I want to touch lives...

I Need A Break

Someone asked me last night which day I go "pak tor" (dating). I replied, "everyday... from the time my eyes opened till my eyes closed... that's why I am so tired". Hehe.

So who is my date? Who can date me from the time I wake up till I go to sleep everyday? I leave it to your intelligence and imagination. :P

Indeed I am really very tired now due to lack of sleep. I badly need to go for a holiday. Thank God it's coming soon. I will be away for my Church retreat in Malaysia starting next Monday and be back on either Thur or Sun (if I extend my stay for shopping).


Something that troubles me now is my interview tomorrow. I know it's quite likely that the company wants to hire me (my 3rd round of interview) but I am not ready emotionally. The reason is I am very much attached to my present job. I can see the fruits of my last 2 months labour coming soon and I don't want to forgo them. On the other hand, the possible offer is more stable and is something I know I can do very well too. *sigh*

If you know me, kindly pray for me. Thank you.

No Mortal PERFECT Friend

I thought I would be ok. With any of you guys (gals) leaving
But i realised that I wouldn't.
Somehow you guys have become a big part of my life.
Each person not the perfect friend for me to suit my needs.
Yet with the 4 of you, it can be met.
Someone to go high with.
Someone to make music with.
Someone to go out with.
Someone to share abt our walks with.
Someone to push me on in my walk.
Someone for every different need I have.

If one goes, something would be missing.

Maybe there is no mortal PERFECT friend.
But in a group, with different ppl to turn to, somehow your needs can be met.

Sure, we may rub each other the wrong way because we are quite different in so many ways.
But it's simply coz we are different, that different needs can be met.

- by a 15-year-old blogger, dated 18 May 06

My Reflections:

I have been so busy with my new 'love' (work) that I have no time to reflect or to read blogs like I used to do. I slept little and dreamt much every night... I felt exhausted as they accumulate. All my dreams were about works.

In a way that is good for me, as it helps me not to feel moody or be saddened by anyone. I just want to be 'alone', or rather I don't want to be involved in any relationship or friendship that could end. I just want to stay superficial, and don't want people to know me deeply.

What prompted me to blog again? The above thoughts written by the same 15-year-old blogger I mentioned before. She makes sense.... "there is no mortal PERFECT friend. But in a group, with different ppl to turn to, somehow your needs can be met."

Some friends told me that I shouldn't stay online so much to interact with my online friends. I fought this advice for a long time, cos my online friends have been closer to me than my offline friends, I am more open to them in sharing my thoughts and feelings.

But finally I did that... I hardly chat with anyone online this whole week, including my best friend. I want to run away.... I want to withdraw myself. Perhaps I might stop blogging one day.... I don't know.


That aside, one company has asked me to go for the 3rd round of interview next week with its board of Directors. I am not sure if I will take up the offer if offered. I have fallen in love with my current job too much... I have built very good contacts over the last 2 months and it would be a waste if I leave and my contacts would be very disappointed.

Maybe I must pray for a sign... not my will but God's will be done.

Stressed

My New Love

I have fallen in love....
Yes, you didn't hear it wrongly.
But I haven't told you about it.
In the day I think about it;
In my sleeps I dream about it.

So what has occupied my time these days?
Not a human, yet many humans...
Yes, I have become obsessed
in my work of dealing with humans.
It has become the love of my life.

I never expect myself to love it.
I never like to deal with so many people.
Yet I am now doing it every day,
and enjoying it every moment.
Another surprise in my life.

I don't know why I am into it...
Perhaps God has a plan for me;
Perhaps He is laying a foundation;
Perhaps He wants me to serve others.
Perhaps there's a future ministry.

Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain. (Psalm 127:1)
Let it not be me, but He.

- Bee

Thanks For Being There

It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. Some friends and readers were wondering if I have been ok. So I like to thank those who have contacted me in one way or another to check me out. I really appreciate your concern.

Actually I have been feeling quite tired physically the whole of this week due to lack of sleep. I went back to work on Thur and slowly tuned back to my working routine. Yes, I kept myself very busy so that I won't have time to waste on unproductive thoughts or activities.

I was again headhunted this week for managerial positions, but I need to seriously and prayerfully consider my options. I shall leave them with God.




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Busy Week

I have been very busy and tired this whole week, rushing to clear some urgent assignments.

On Mon, I started work in the morning and worked till 2 a.m., Tue because I received some new assignments at night.
On Tue, I was awaken by a call at 7.30 a.m. and I started working non stop till 12.30 a.m., Wed, almost non stop.
On Wed, I started work at 8 a.m. and worked till 1 a.m., Thu.
On Thu, I started work at 9 a.m. and worked till 12.30 a.m., Fri.
More new assignments came in today, so I still will be working very long hour on Fri.

I hope to catch up with my sleep and take a break over the weekend. But I guess I will still end up working. I am a real workaholic when it comes to work. You can't believe that when I did my shopping last week, I was thinking about my work assignments. *sigh*