I Need A Break
Someone asked me last night which day I go "pak tor" (dating). I replied, "everyday... from the time my eyes opened till my eyes closed... that's why I am so tired". Hehe.
So who is my date? Who can date me from the time I wake up till I go to sleep everyday? I leave it to your intelligence and imagination. :P
Indeed I am really very tired now due to lack of sleep. I badly need to go for a holiday. Thank God it's coming soon. I will be away for my Church retreat in Malaysia starting next Monday and be back on either Thur or Sun (if I extend my stay for shopping).Something that troubles me now is my interview tomorrow. I know it's quite likely that the company wants to hire me (my 3rd round of interview) but I am not ready emotionally. The reason is I am very much attached to my present job. I can see the fruits of my last 2 months labour coming soon and I don't want to forgo them. On the other hand, the possible offer is more stable and is something I know I can do very well too. *sigh*
If you know me, kindly pray for me. Thank you.
posted at 5/31/2006 12:15:00 PM |
Name: Bee
2 Comments:
You always have my prayers.
I was reading Jay Levinson's "The Way of the Guerilla: Achieving Success and Balance as an Entrepreneur in the 21st Century".
One of the things he mentions as crucial is balance in ones life (pretty obvious). He also mentions that there are 5 types of work:
Wage work: where you are paid hourly to work for someone else.
Fee work: where you charge for professional work that you sell to others.
Housework: pretty self explanatory.
Study: unpaid work where you work to learn and improve yourself.
Community work: unpaid work where you pay your dues back to society.
As he keeps stressing: the only thing you can't get more of is time. When you run out, you run out. If you miss seeing your kids grow up, you can't go back and do it again.
This past week I have been in a bit of a funk after seeing Jason head off to his daycare / preschool Monday morning. It really makes me want to quit my job. I asked Sofia how she would feel if I quit and she replied with a horrified "No" because my benefits are too good. However, I continue to feel my life slipping away. Opportunities passing me by because I am addicted to my job. It is always: "Just one more day. A little more sacrifice." But, tomorrow never comes. A while back there was a change in my perception of self and I no longer feel immortal - I no longer feel the new day rising, but rather night time's approach. It is like the feeling you get when you realize you have squandered your morning and afternoon and realize that soon you will be going back to sleep.
On the other hand, I don't want to throw away good pay (pay that is well above the average of most people) and good benefits.
How does one balance dreams and personal fulfillment without seeming ungrateful for what one has?
Pray that whatever decision you make, it will help you to be a better and more faithful servant of God.
While having a good life, a life free of struggle is a good thing, we must ensure that we do not become trapped in the worship of comfort and luxury at the expense of our soul. On the other hand, chilren need to be fed and bills need to be paid.
For the ancient Jews it was simple. A good and prosperous life was a sure sign of blessing from God. For Christians (at least for me) it is not so simple. Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this earth." and "Give to Ceasar what is Ceasar's and to God what is God's."
However, we need to ensure we do not decieve ourselves with false piety, humility and sacrifice. Nor must we abandon our souls in the pursuit of material gain.
Finally, get some sleep. Trust me, you will feel better after a few days of good restful sleep.
Peace be with you.
Dear Richard,
Thank you for your long and meaningful sharing above. It does help me to ponder seriously with your, "As he keeps stressing: the only thing you can't get more of is time. When you run out, you run out. If you miss seeing your kids grow up, you can't go back and do it again."
Very true, I wish I can rewind my life but I know I can't. So whatever time left for me now must be spent wisely. I hope that my holiday next week would allow me to catch up with whatever I have lost.... my sleep, my fellowship with others, my time to reflect, etc. Yes, when I come back home I will have a new job waiting for me.
Thanks again for your prayers and sharing of thoughts. May the Lord bless you richly and guide your path too.
Take care.
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