No Mortal PERFECT Friend
I thought I would be ok. With any of you guys (gals) leaving
But i realised that I wouldn't.
Somehow you guys have become a big part of my life.
Each person not the perfect friend for me to suit my needs.Yet with the 4 of you, it can be met.
Someone to go high with.
Someone to make music with.
Someone to go out with.
Someone to share abt our walks with.
Someone to push me on in my walk.
Someone for every different need I have.
If one goes, something would be missing.
Maybe there is no mortal PERFECT friend.
But in a group, with different ppl to turn to, somehow your needs can be met.
Sure, we may rub each other the wrong way because we are quite different in so many ways.
But it's simply coz we are different, that different needs can be met.
- by a 15-year-old blogger, dated 18 May 06
My Reflections:
I have been so busy with my new 'love' (work) that I have no time to reflect or to read blogs like I used to do. I slept little and dreamt much every night... I felt exhausted as they accumulate. All my dreams were about works.
In a way that is good for me, as it helps me not to feel moody or be saddened by anyone. I just want to be 'alone', or rather I don't want to be involved in any relationship or friendship that could end. I just want to stay superficial, and don't want people to know me deeply.
What prompted me to blog again? The above thoughts written by the same 15-year-old blogger I mentioned before. She makes sense.... "there is no mortal PERFECT friend. But in a group, with different ppl to turn to, somehow your needs can be met."
Some friends told me that I shouldn't stay online so much to interact with my online friends. I fought this advice for a long time, cos my online friends have been closer to me than my offline friends, I am more open to them in sharing my thoughts and feelings.
But finally I did that... I hardly chat with anyone online this whole week, including my best friend. I want to run away.... I want to withdraw myself. Perhaps I might stop blogging one day.... I don't know.
That aside, one company has asked me to go for the 3rd round of interview next week with its board of Directors. I am not sure if I will take up the offer if offered. I have fallen in love with my current job too much... I have built very good contacts over the last 2 months and it would be a waste if I leave and my contacts would be very disappointed.
Maybe I must pray for a sign... not my will but God's will be done.
Labels: friendship, work
posted at 5/26/2006 08:44:00 PM |
Name: Bee
5 Comments:
I am sorry you feel like running away. I felt like that many times and for a long time. While the worst period in my life was from Sept.2003 until Sept.2005, when I was, as far as I can tell - depressed. I remember in 1999-2000 that had a very strong urge to just go away and disappear for 2 years or so.
The key is balance. You must balance your work, social obligations, friends, family, faith, health and probably many other things.
I know that my life is nowhere near balanced.
I also find I like interacting with people over the Internet in the limited way I do through blogging because, when I come home from work, the last thing I want is to interact with people. It takes me at least 2 to 3 hours to unwind from work before I can even consider wanting to talk with people. Blogging allows me to control the interaction – I can eliminate all factors and simply concentrate on the words and ideas.
Of course, the most important relationships I have to focus on are my family: Sofia and the kids.
Hiding in cyberspace is safe and secure, we have more control, it is easier to run and hide if we want, but we also need to interact with real people. Don't close yourself off to the world around you.
I have always been slow to make friends (actually, I was faster when I was younger, but as I got older I became slower and slower because I learned people were not always honest - although, of late, I seem to find it a little easier to call some new people in my life "friend" :-)
I find it hard to make friends because I don't automatically "click" with people. I need to observe them first. I need to know if they are trustworthy. I am also quite shy.
Try new things. Sign up for something you normally wouldn't do - something you would feel uncomfortable doing (but that not in conflict with your morality) if anyone found out.
I think God wants you to do your will, so long as it is in accordance with His will. In the Upanishads (Hindu scripture), there is a line which I like to adapt for Christian use as: "You are the chosen one because you have chosen God." (the actual line is "You are the chosen one because you have chosen your atman", where atman is this sort of godhead / soul concept).
I will continue to pray for you to find peace.
I have learnt to stop running away too. I no longer running away from relationships and not afraid to meet anyone. I am free to go wherever I want go. I will have a wife in the future to quarrel with, to be jealous with, she may not even be beautiful and possibly a smoker and drunkard, but I'm going to accept that and I know I'll going to love and cherish her anyway. Bee, I really hope to see your blog filled with how much you enjoy shopping with friends, clubbing, KTV-ing, go on a first date, breaking off with a boyfriend... filled with laughters, tears, angers, anticipations, surprises,... etc. I really hope to see those in your blog one day. Bee, I really don't want to see you wake up one day with wrinkles to realized that missed so much things in life (other than accomplishments in career and volunteerings and your most beautiful love for God and Christ)... :) (Right? Richard)
david: I am not sure what you are hinting at (or seeking confirmation of) - I have a hard time understanding people and reading between the lines
The advice I give people is: "enjoy life ... responsibly".
richard: i'm not hinting her to do anything indecent... or give up what she's doing now, but hope that she would do more of what other girls of her age would normally do...
Hello Richard & David, thanks for your comments.
Reading Elvina's blog today on Mr. Right - Part I and all her readers' comments does make me ponder further about what the 15-year-old blogger said. She is very right indeed. We will never find a "perfect friend" (or Mr/Ms Right) who can meet all our needs. "But in a group, with different ppl to turn to, somehow your needs can be met."
I think I (and many others) have foolishly seeking for that 'perfect friend', which will never appear, and then get disappointed when it is so.
So my friends, thank you for being my friends... not a 'perfect friend' who can meet all my needs, but as someone who could meet one aspect of my needs... i.e. your friendship.
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