Forgiveness - Misconceptions

"It does not matter what happened to you or what others do to you, but it really matters how you respond to the love of God."
- Dr Tan K S

That was what the speaker, Dr Tan S K, said during the church Service yesterday. The message was on Forgiveness.

Misconception about forgiveness

1. "Please forgive and forget."
The fact is we can't forget, but that does not mean we can't forgive. We have 2 kinds of memories:
- emotional memory... memory that hurts us when we recall, e.g. your loved one jilted you.
- historical memory... memory that doesn't hurt us when we recall, e.g. you fell down while learning to ride a bicycle.

2. "Please understand and forgive."
The fact is we can't understand everything, yet we still need to forgive.

3. "Please overlook and forgive."
The fact is we can't pretend things didn't happen, but still we need to forgive.

4. "Deny your feeling, just forgive."
This is one reason why men die younger than women 'cos they tend to deny their feelings.


How to Forgive

1. Face the wrong
2. Face the hurt
3. Face the resentment
4. Face the cross
Only the blood of Christ can cover all our hurts and heal our wounds.

Forgiving by faith is an act of our will, it's not a feeling. We need to forgive others, ourselves, and God.


My Thoughts

Although I have forgiven the people who have hurt me, yet for two particular cases I still feel the pains whenever I recall them. As I listened to the above message, I realized that it's because I have not converted these "emotional memories" into "historical memories" yet. I guess I need to "face the cross" to deal with them.

A nice poem here on Forgiveness.