She Is Just Like Me

She reminds me of myself when I was a teenager. What a 15 years old Christian school girl wrote at her blog portrays so much of me even now, except mine would be....
"The End.
Dun talk to me abt this post.
Coz i will just cry." (if you are close to me)

I see the slope again.
Downhill i go.

With great power comes great responsibilty.
With great responsibilty comes great burdens.
With great burdens come great stress.

I'm not a good leader. I know it. I can tell.
It is not really my nature to be a leader.
What i simply am, is that i have my OPINIONS, and i just like to voice them out.
I need to be heard, i need to be understood.
If you differ in opinion, give me good reasons why and i'll accept ur side.
Silence me, prevent me from speaking, and all boils inside.

I can never lead ppl to what i do not believe in or understand.
I dun get the picture you paint, and thus i do not support it.
But everyone seems to, all except me.
Yet I'm to lead on in the discussion.
What's there to lead to when i'm the most lost?

I try, but you are unsatisfied.
Nothing is good enough.

Burdened, i leave late at night.
Troubled, i decided that i could not go on on my own.
I needed God's help.
On the bus, we talked and He spoke and somehow things seem like there are going to be alright again. The future looks gloomy, but in it i will still find light. I will find it.

On the phone, you burst at me. A tired me.
On the phone, you accuse me. A tired and irritated me.
On the phone, you cancelled our plans. It was fine by me.
At home, you scolded becoz of me. A down and burdened me. I didn't care.
At home, you chided me. I, who did nothing wrong but was simply not at home.
At home again, you chided me. I, who had let it go for the sake of others.

"You" is not 1 person. Each "you" represents a different person.
Salt to my wound you were.

I will laugh with you, talk shallow talks with you.
But at the moment, i'm simply running.
Running to prevent being crushed.

I'm not gonna be crushed to bits under the billion and one pressure.
I'm gonna emerge a pearl.
Soon you'll see.
Instead of a crushed nothing, I'll be a pearl.
For it was Him, who made all the difference.

The End.
Dun talk to me abt this post.
Coz i will just laugh it off .

- Eliz, 14 April 06