My Christmas Greeting - poem

My Dear Friend,

Christmas is as pure as dove;
Christmas is a time to truly love.
Do not keep it to yourself;
Do share it with someone else.
Then you'll find meaning as you give;
Then you'll find meaning in the life you live.
This poem I wrote for you to keep;
As my humble Christmas gift.

Your Friend,

Bee

My Birthday

Thank you for still remembering my birthday.

Thank you for your simple act that made my day.

Thank you that out of sight is not out of mind.

Thank you that our friendship did not die.

- Bee

People

As I reflected on some of the poem I wrote in the past, I observed that the same truth of the matter stays even years down the road... I am still as puzzled by the complications in people as years before when I wrote the poem below:


Some people - poem
- written on 29 Sept 04

Life is so complicated - prose
- written on 8 Oct 04

Beautiful Truth

(click image to enlarge)


the truth that he has loved you once
is as beautiful as the setting sun
though it may not last forever as in dance
be thankful that you were given the chance
to experience love and warm of someone
whom you also love, care, and want

things don't have to last forever to be beautiful
this is a comforting thought and a great truth
'cos you need not pine for what's over like a fool
thinking you can turn back the clock by what you do
keep those sweet memories as something wonderful
always thank God and keep your heart like wool

- Bee
(my poem is inspired by tonight's devotion and the above image)



The song and lyric I like tonight: "Hero" by Mariah Carey

Stay Strong in the Rain

Does it matter to you if I say
I lost my confidant?
Does it matter to you if I say
I lost my confidence?
Does it matter to you if I say
I lost my friend?
Does it matter to you if I say
I am lost in the end?

Meaningless, all are meaningless,
all are chasing after the wind.
Meaningless, all are meaningless,
all go back to the beginning.
Meaningless, all are meaningless,
all labors have gone into the drain.
Meaningless, all are meaningless,
all I must do is stay strong in the rain.

- Bee

Who Will Be There For Me?

Who will be there for me
when I need words of comfort?
Who will be there for me
when I need a shoulder to cry?
Who will be there for me
when I need to pour my sorrows?

Who will be there for me
if I were to lose my vision?
Who will be there for me
if I were to lose my voice?
Who will be there for me
if I were to die tonight?

- Bee


My Reflection

I felt alone this whole week.... the one I thought was concerned for me disappeared when I had been so sick... out of sight out of mind?

This whole week, I have been stuck with chronic cough and flu symptoms (fever, sore throat, lost voice, headache, dizzy, etc) plus host of side effects from the medication given to me by various doctors. One of the worst side effects is blur vision. I felt as if I might go blind gradually. The thought of blindness made me worried. I rather go dumb or deaf instead of blind, I thought to myself. Being blind is like the end of the world to me. I wonder how the visually impaired could survive. Perhaps they were born with that condition so it makes no difference to them.

Actually, on Monday (12 Mar 07), I went to see the specialist doctor as appointed. The doctor said that based on my chest x-rays and lung function test, I am not suffering from pneumonia... my lungs are clear. That means the two doctors at the same hospital had different diagnosis about my medical condition. One asked me to complete the 10-days antibiotic, one said no. Who should I follow? Anyway, I just completed it to play safe.

Thank God I am feeling better today, though still coughing. But who will be there for me, other than God?

Christmas Wishes

I have stopped blogging for a month by now, other than at my devotional blog. I know some of you, my friends, still keep coming back to check whether I do update my blog. Very sorry to disappoint all of you at your each visit. I guess I should blog here again to share a little of my thoughts and experiences, though it may not be very frequent due to my very busy work schedule.

Below are my wishes for all my faithful friends:

May you a wonderful Christmas this year.
May you thread 2007 without fear.
May your life filled with joy rather than tears.
May you feel the good Lord dear.

- Bee

Taking A Break

My Dear Readers and Friends,

Thank you so much, especially Richard (my regular reader), for reading my blog. Thank you for your friendship during my stay here.

I have finally completed my journal in this cyber space. It's time I close the chapter and move on. I have learned many things when I started to blog in 2003 and posted my first poem...

Here I Am - poem

Here I am in this new home at the cyber world
Visitors come and go, but I hope someday they will know
That no matter how big is this world
There is always someone who cares for their souls
Someone who looks beyond their faults and love them just like gold
Here I am to jot down my thoughts like a diary
Hopefully they will come in handy
As a journal for my Research Study
And that my faraway friends can also catch a glimpse of me

-Bee, posted Friday, 17 October 2003

I hope that you will know that "There is always someone who cares for your soul, Someone who looks beyond your faults and love you just like gold."

Goodbye & take care.

Stormy Sea Of Life

My work has taken more than 50% of my time daily, and I am beginning to feel the strain. There are so much to do, so little time and so lacking in manpower. Tiredness set in as time goes by. All my energy has been drained.

Something unhappy happened two days ago and I really felt like quiting. I felt the injustice, but I don't wish to defend myself, for God knows. It's time like this I begin to think about what it is that God wants me to do.

I feel better today, even though there are more things that happened at my workplace that require my attention... more issues to resolve. I don't mind all these... I like challenges... they make my work interesting actually.

Thank God for tonight's devotion that reminds me that my God can calm my 'stormy sea' of life.

Dear Lord,

Thank You for calming the 'stormy sea' of my life.
Thank You for the many blessings in disguise.
Thank You for Your love that never die.
Thank You for always hearing my heart's cry.

-Your child, Bee

Lilies of the Field

Just like the lilies of the field
I have no cares nor worries
Just work and don't really feel
Except sleepy, thirsty and hungry

Just like the lilies of the field
I don't feel sad nor happy
Just live daily with strength renewed
Trusting God with spirit free

Just like the lilies of the field
God will take care of me
Much more than the lilies of the field
For He loves me, even me.

- Bee

My New Love

I have fallen in love....
Yes, you didn't hear it wrongly.
But I haven't told you about it.
In the day I think about it;
In my sleeps I dream about it.

So what has occupied my time these days?
Not a human, yet many humans...
Yes, I have become obsessed
in my work of dealing with humans.
It has become the love of my life.

I never expect myself to love it.
I never like to deal with so many people.
Yet I am now doing it every day,
and enjoying it every moment.
Another surprise in my life.

I don't know why I am into it...
Perhaps God has a plan for me;
Perhaps He is laying a foundation;
Perhaps He wants me to serve others.
Perhaps there's a future ministry.

Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain. (Psalm 127:1)
Let it not be me, but He.

- Bee

Reflective Mood Again

I have been in a very reflective mood again lately and have started to compose poem after laying it off for a while. Now even more so as I mark my loss in my two recent poems:

My pains

I looked for love

For those of you who have given me your comforting words during the demise of my mother, I want to say "Thank You Very Much". I will remember you as much as you remember me. Life is short, love while you can. If you love someone, let him/her know soon... you might not have a chance if you delay.

I am very tired... need to sleep early.

Goodnight. God bless you.

My Heart Will Go On - poem

Some people give up
after they have done so much;
Some people give up
even before they really start.

So should I also give up
like some people do?
Should my heart be 'dead'
when my heart feels hurting too?

No, my heart will go on
to sing that beautiful song;
A song of love and faithfulness
that lasts so long

- Bee

My Prayer For My Friend - poem

dear Lord,

let him know he is dear,
let him feel you are near,
let him know you are there,
let him know you always care.

give him wisdom as he speaks,
give him words that's sweet with wit,
give him power in his argument,
give him peace at this moment.

this is my prayer for my friend,
who needs your grace now and then.
may you get the glory in the end,
for i pray these in Jesus' name. Amen.

- your chid, bee

You Are Always My Friend

"You Are Always My Friend"

You are always my friend;
When I am happy
or when I am sad,
When I am alone
or when I am with people.

You are always my friend,
If I see you today
Or if I see you a year from now,
If I talk to you today
Or if I talk to you a year from now.

You are always my friend,
And though through the years we will change,
It does not matter what you do.
Throughout our lifetime
You are always my friend.

~ Susan Polis Schutg ~



A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

~ Unknown ~

Real Failure

Failure Is an Event—Not a Person

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin" (Psalm 51:1-2, NIV).

Richard Halverson in Pulpit Helps asked the question: "Who hasn't failed? The Apostle Paul failed, Peter failed, every one of the twelve apostles failed. David, Israel's greatest king, 'a man after God's own heart,' failed. Moses, giant among the Israelites, giver of the law, deliverer of his people, failed. Jacob, father of Israel, failed. Isaac, son of promise, failed. Abraham, progenitor of Israel, father of the faithful, prototype of those who are righteous through faith, failed. Even our first parents, in their human perfection, failed. Who hasn't failed?

"It is not failing that is the problem; it is what one does after he has failed. To take failure as final is to be a failure. To see in failure the school of [God's] Spirit is to let failure contribute to one's growth in Christ."

When we fail, the important thing is to get up, confess it to God and where necessary to the person whom we have hurt if we have hurt him or her, and ask for their forgiveness. Then we need to forgive ourselves as God forgives us, and learn from the experience.

Remember, too, it's not God's goal to make us good but to make us whole and the more whole and mature I become, the less I will act out in destructive ways—and the less I will fail. The only real failure, after we either fall or get knocked down, is to not get up one more time.

My Reflection:

I guess I am a real failure in love based on the article above... for I have given up on receiving true love for myself. I dare "not get up one more time". When someone wrote me a special poem on Valentine's Day, I still feel skeptical about it because of past experiences.

What is my definition of true love? True love is unselfish, loving me for me, loving me without requiring me to love in return, loving me even when it hurts, and never give up on me...

Difficult isn't it? Who can do that? I don't know, but I know God can.

Conclusion: If you still think you love me, think again. Do you truly do?

My V Day

It was Valentine's Day yesterday, but I still have to work till quite late and feeling very drained. I had 3 teachers went on MC on Monday and 2 on Tuesday. So I was practically 'fighting fire' at my work place the last 2 days. Hmmn... never knew I could be so efficient till crisis struck. ;)

No V Day celebration for me yesterday, but I am happy to know that someone does think of me. :) I hope I can rewrite my poem one day.

Hope the rest of you have got a wonderful V Day.

Don't Give Up - poem

How I wish I could start anew
when I hear the words, "I love you".
I guess I have become so cold,
many words have left untold,
all my feelings seem so trapped...
who could on it like a tap?

Though I'm like ice hard and cold,
I can melt away just like gold.
It will take time to warm my heart
through patience and kindness, that's the art.
I can't be rushed and can't jump start...
if you love me don't give up.

- bee

When I Behold the Stars - poem

Ah... my busyness at work since last month has robbed me of my time to reflect, to think, to admire, to get in touch with my feelings... Is that good or bad?

After work, I would reach home around 8 p.m. or later, have my dinner and then take my bath. By the time I could sit down and relax it would be almost 10 p.m. That's when I start checking my email and do my online devotion which will finish by past midnight. By then I would be rather tired and need to sleep and wake up at about 7.15 a.m. to prepare for work.

This may be good for me... I have
no time to think of the past,
no time to get hurt,
no time to feel sorrowful,
no time to feel lonely,
no time to blog too much,
no time to write poem,
no time to love,
no time to miss anyone...

Hmmn... nature always gives me inspiration. :) Today, as I was reading someone's blog post, "to the stars", I just felt inspired to comment:

when I behold the stars,
they simply replace my scars;
they fill my heart with songs,
then all my sorrows are gone...

- bee

Love One Another - poem

Love covers a multitude of sins.
It removes the strife that stirs within,
Forgiving those who hurts you deep inside,
Bringing sleep in the cold lonely night.

Love is willing to sacrifice.
It is willing to lay down your life,
For those you claim to love in truth,
It's not what you say but what you do.

- Bee



P/S: The above poem is my afterthoughts from 1 John 3:10-23 after doing my devotion, "In Defense Of Life".