Real Failure
Failure Is an Event—Not a Person
"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin" (Psalm 51:1-2, NIV).
Richard Halverson in Pulpit Helps asked the question: "Who hasn't failed? The Apostle Paul failed, Peter failed, every one of the twelve apostles failed. David, Israel's greatest king, 'a man after God's own heart,' failed. Moses, giant among the Israelites, giver of the law, deliverer of his people, failed. Jacob, father of Israel, failed. Isaac, son of promise, failed. Abraham, progenitor of Israel, father of the faithful, prototype of those who are righteous through faith, failed. Even our first parents, in their human perfection, failed. Who hasn't failed?
"It is not failing that is the problem; it is what one does after he has failed. To take failure as final is to be a failure. To see in failure the school of [God's] Spirit is to let failure contribute to one's growth in Christ."
When we fail, the important thing is to get up, confess it to God and where necessary to the person whom we have hurt if we have hurt him or her, and ask for their forgiveness. Then we need to forgive ourselves as God forgives us, and learn from the experience.
Remember, too, it's not God's goal to make us good but to make us whole and the more whole and mature I become, the less I will act out in destructive ways—and the less I will fail. The only real failure, after we either fall or get knocked down, is to not get up one more time.
My Reflection:
I guess I am a real failure in love based on the article above... for I have given up on receiving true love for myself. I dare "not get up one more time". When someone wrote me a special poem on Valentine's Day, I still feel skeptical about it because of past experiences.
What is my definition of true love? True love is unselfish, loving me for me, loving me without requiring me to love in return, loving me even when it hurts, and never give up on me...
Difficult isn't it? Who can do that? I don't know, but I know God can.
Conclusion: If you still think you love me, think again. Do you truly do?
Labels: love, poem, relationship
posted at 2/19/2006 12:15:00 AM |
Name: Bee
4 Comments:
Sorry, I must be dense, I do not see how the article implies that you are a failure in love.
I read the poem. It is nice. Perhaps what you need, rather than plunging right in, you should be slower.
Certainly he seems to be sweet for you.
It is hard to reconcile past pain with future hopes / desires.
Your response is good and shows that you are looking for some assurance of commitment rather than simply the indulgence of a good feeling.
It was always my dilema. Pretty gorls, nice girls are common - but someone to share a life with is rare. So I never was anything more than a friend, because I could not honestly give more than that - even if it meant foregoing the sweet of illusion of love. It took me 29 years to find one such person - only to have my affection unrequited. I was fortunate and thanks to God's grace, I found another who accepted.
I think we all want to avoid having to say "If only ..." in our lives.
It could be "If only I had been more open to love" or "If only I had been less hasty."
Take care.
(hmmmm ... now I think I should not have written my earlier comment in such haste :P
Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate your candid sharing of thoughts... they have been very helpful. :)
Your earlier comment is fine... no worry. Thanks!
That's a nice poem. But like what Richard said, does the writer really mean what he wrote or does he feel only for that moment? Can he persevere in love or will he lose that feeling the next day?
Love is not just a feeling, it's a committment. If he can't commit to love a lovely gal like you he will never be able to commit for any gal then. *skeptical look*
You are right, Stuart. Unfortunately some guys don't see it that way. They can simply say "I love you" one day, and within next few days say "I make a mistake", without feeling any guilt. To them that is normal and honest (not considered cheating), 'cos feelings change.
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