Being A Friend
What is the actual meaning of being a friend?
This question rang in my head when I was reading John 15 in the MasterLife series bible study recently. Jesus was speaking to his disciples ( a group of Christians):
12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
To Jesus, a friend is one whom we can share "everything", someone whom we can lay down our life for. That's the meaning of being a friend.
However, people tend to call anybody they got to know 'friend'. It has diluted the true meaning of being a friend. It makes me confused and wonder how can Jesus asked us to lay down our life for a 'friend'... it's very hard isn't it? But for someone whom we can share our life with, then it would not be that impossible. This type of "friend" is someone we "love".
Labels: friendship
posted at 8/13/2006 11:53:00 PM |
Name: Bee
5 Comments:
I have a very narrow understanding of friend. I have to really care about the person. I can say without shame that I love my friends - whether they are male or female. I find it hard to use the term in its vernacular sense to refer to someone I merely like (regardless of how much I might like him or her).
I think Seneca (Stoic philosopher) has some interesting things to say about it:
It is your friend, as you write him down, that brought me your letter, and then you warn me not discuss you affairs with him freely because you yourself avoid doing so. In the same letter, then, you assert that the man is your friend and say that he is not. If you give that quite specific word its popular usage and call a man "friend" as we call all candidates for office "gentlemen", or greet men whose names slip us when we meet them as "my dear sir, "we shall let it pass. But if you think a man you do not trust as fully as you trust yourself is a friend, you are grievously mistaken and do not understand the meaning of true friendship.
Deliberate upon all questions with your friend, but first deliberate about him. After friendship there must be full trust, but before it, discretion. If you reverse Theophrastus' trust precept and assay the man you have loved instead of loving the man you have assayed, you put the cart before the horse and confuse the rules of social behavior. Think long whether a man should be admitted to your friendship, and when you have decided he should be, admit him with all your heart and speak with him as freely as with yourself. You should, of course, so live that you have no confidences you could not divulge even to an enemy; but because custom has made certain passages in a man's life secret, share your reflections and your anxieties with a friend. If you believe he is loyal you will make him so. Some people's fear of being deceived has taught men to deceive them; their suspicions give a license to injury. Why should I watch my words in the presence of my friend? Why should I not consider myself alone in his presence?
I will call the person described by Seneca my "Best Friend".
I call the person described by Seneca simply "friend", all others are merely acquaintances.
Nice to see you back.
Hi Bee
just to put in my penny's worth.
i have just the same concept as richard's - "I have a very narrow understanding of friend. I have to really care about the person. I can say without shame that I love my friends - whether they are male or female." - same goes for me.
Only, its rather disheartening at times to know that some 'friends' dont really take you as a 'friend' as sincerely.
Its all in oneself, cant figure them out, only for you to experience that 'friendship' - be it good or bad.
Mary said, "its rather disheartening at times to know that some 'friends' dont really take you as a 'friend' as sincerely."
That's why I like to use the term "best friend" for people whom I care about, whom I also know care for me". This term will separate real friendship from false one.
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