The Online and Offline Me
"True friends stay when all else go away. You're a true friend... let me be one to you too. :)", Stuart commented at my blog.
Yes, after having started blogging since a year ago I have gained a number of online friends and have learned many things along the way. They bring both joy and sorrow into my life. Some are transient but some are lasting friendship.
However, I have never met any of my online friends in person before though many are eager to meet me. Why didn't I go? I can't explain... or rather, people won't understand even if I try to explain. Some might think I have something to 'hide' or that I feel inferior to my physical look, etc. No, those are not the reasons at all. On the contrary, I am more myself online than offline. In term of my physical look, I'm afraid you might fall in love with me easily after meeting me offline (for guys of course). But you won't get to KNOW me much if you have met me offline first as I am a very private person, an introvert outside the scope of work...
I have become very attached to my computer because most of my activities happened online... be they interaction with online friends, knowledge acquisition, or blogging my thoughts and reflections. The recent problem with my computer key has made me wonder will life stop for me if there were no more computer. Well, life will be different without the computer (just like when I was away the last 9 days). I really missed my online friends and all the things I could do online during those time.
What would I do if there were no more computer? I would probably do more reading of the newspaper, magazines, non-fiction books; play and sing with my guitar; tend to my plants; watch TV programs; chat with friends on the phone; play board games; swimming, jogging, cycling, shopping; experiment with cooking, sewing, decorating my home; writing, studying, and more outside of work.
Hmmn... don't the above activities sound healthier? I guess they do... but you will only get to know one aspect of me (i.e. I am a very active person with many varied interests) and perhaps also confirm that you could fall in love with my physical look easily. But you will never get to know the inner me (i.e. my thoughts, my aspirations, my joy and sorrows) which is vital to any lasting relationship. Online blogging and online friendship gives me a chance to express my inner self, to rediscover myself and talents, and to learn new things.
So do you rather know me online or offline? "Both", you might say. Well, I am not ready for it now... i.e. you either know the offline me (more impersonal and superficial) or the online me (more personal and real). But ultimately the right person will get to know, me both online and offline, when I feel comfortable. I am not sure who will that person be or when it will happen... only God knows, and in His time I guess.
I saw the following quotation on a T-Shirt yesterday and find it very appropriate in describing my online friends...
A best friend is like a computer:
I ENTER your life,
SAVE you in my heart,
FORMAT your problems,
but never DELETE you
from my MEMORY.
I ENTER your life,
SAVE you in my heart,
FORMAT your problems,
but never DELETE you
from my MEMORY.
Labels: about me, friendship
posted at 12/05/2004 11:59:00 PM |
Name: Bee
4 Comments:
Well, I feel that as much as possible, do not be too engrossed in the online (cyber) world till you neglect the real world which is the offline world. What I mean is, try to fuse your different personality together such that eventually you would be the same online and offline. Afterall, Bee is still bee. Whether offline or online it should be the same Bee.
But I understand about been the private person as you are, it would be easier to open up online. But try not to be too engrossed in the online world, as eventually you would need to face the "right person" in the offline world. I mean would your comfort zone in the online world cause you to be uncomfortable or awkard when you face the person in the offline world eventually? If that's the case, then there may be a potential problem, because eventually you and the right person (presumably if you do get married to that person) would be staying together and you would be facing him offline and no longer online. Would you then be comfortable and would you then be able to really be yourself in front of him, just as you were online? Well, I feel that these are some thoughts worth pondering upon.
Ken
Ken said: "try to fuse your different personality together such that eventually you would be the same online and offline.... eventually you would need to face the "right person" in the offline world."
Hmmn, from your comment i guess u still don't understand what i meant. Yes, it's the same Me whether online or offline... I am not 2 different persons. So what i meant is people who knows me OFFLINE FIRST might not have the chance of knowing the inner side of me that can't be seen from the outside, i.e. they will only see me as a pretty gal whom they wish to know better but won't have a chance to do so since i m a private person.
However, people who knows me ONLINE FIRST will get to know the hidden side of me and see if we have common values and beliefs which are more important to me. The 'right person' for me is one whom I love, who shares the same values and beliefs as mine (not referring to preferences or having same personality), can 'click' well with me, loves me and accepts my physical side even BEFORE MEETING. This will be the person I will meet offline ultimately.
A tall order, u might say. Well, it has to be since there is only ONE such person I need. The 'right person' hasn't appeared yet, though someone seemed close to be one for a moment, but has failed the 'test'. I am not rushing...
Having said the above, i must add that i treasure all my online friends. For u all have add 'colours' to my life ever since i started blogging. I will SAVE u in my heart and never DELETE u from my MEMORY. Thanks for being my online friends.
Hi bee, strangely and coincidentally, I used to have an online and offline personality too. K once commented that too.
I find it hard to express myself in front of people. In fact, My thoughts are usually far from what people perceive (for i'm quite reserved).
You know, i met my bf only after 4 years i knew him. With him, i m not a reserved person anymore for he knows my worst habit and temper. hehe
I hope K is not reading this, he will hate me for showing one bad example.
hehe, fin... u are not a bad example, but a life example of what it means to build a strong relationship based on two people's personalities first, before any physical involvement, which can be a distraction and create false attachment.
I believe u and your bf already have a very strong bonding by the time you both decided to meet after 4 years, right?
I wish you both every happiness in your journey together.
Cheers!
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