Questions about Relationships
I have not been blogging here for a while but I am still blogging at my "devotion" blog daily. I guess my focus now is to seek God for His direction in my life and to put aside all thoughts related to BGR (Boy-Girl-Relationship) at this moment. I need to rediscover myself.
As I was doing my "devotion" the other day and looking for articles on "friends", I came across a website, "Questions about Relationships". I have read most of the articles there but the followings seem most interesting. You may like to read them and tell me what you think...
How can I overcome feelings of rejection?
What is true friendship according to the Bible?
How can I know if I am in love?
Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse?
When is the right time for marriage?
What should be the Christian view of romance?
Is there such a thing as soul mates? Does God have one specific person for you to marry?
Enjoy your reading. :)
Labels: friendship, healing, love, marriage, relationship
posted at 12/07/2005 04:06:00 PM |
Name: Bee
6 Comments:
I read the articles, they are pretty good.
I do have some issues with the notion of "God's plan" - simply because I do not believe that God has specifics planned out for us, rather He has general directions and behaviours He expects us to abide by (this is just me, even my own church believes in "God's plan" - in which case, I should have been a priest according to many, but I did not feel the vocational call. I always believed God has called me to lead a good and just life). If by "God's plan" you understand living a holy and faithful life, then we agree.
As for marrying a Christian ... hmmm ... that is tough. I would have preferred to marry someone of the same Christian tradition as I, but no suitable candidates made themselves present. So I married outside my tradition. I am far more religious than my wife (and the love of her mother, since I am the most religious of all her children - even if it is the "wrong" faith tradition).
Relationships take time. It takes me a long time to call someone friend (although, I am getting better at calling people friend sooner). I knew Sofia for a total of 18 months before we married (we only dated for 12 months). I would have preferred an extra year, but Sofia's studies were finishing and I would not accept a long distance relationship. On the other hand, people who date for 5, 6, 7, 10 years are dating way too long. It should not take that much time.
It is important to discuss everything before marriage (even before getting into a relationship - so I knew how many children Sofia wanted before I started dating her, what her views on the household were, etc ... but, then again, I tend to talk about these things, so I know them about quite a few people).
Sometimes it seems hopeless, there are so many people and yet, finding someone seems impossible. I don't know why. You would think with everyone wanting the same thing (or at least claiming to want the same thing) it would be easier to connect, but it is not.
As I've mentioned before, I was very late in having a girlfriend (29) because I wanted to wait for the right person (there are other issues such as I am not a typical guy and cannot make "promises" like a "normal" guy can. If I say something, it is because I believe it to be true. As well, "pursuing" a girl seemed wrong to me - she must agree of her free will without my having to try and "win" her with persistance. I think a faithful friend is all I needed to be. As well, saying something that might be untrue is very difficult for me (I would never make a good politician ;-)
Take care.
Disclaimer: As usual, these are my views and do not seem to reflect the views of the rest of the world. sigh.
Hello, Richard, you are so fast ya... completed reading those articles so quickly and commenting about them here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts again. :)
You said: "As I've mentioned before, I was very late in having a girlfriend (29) because I wanted to wait for the right person..."
Hey, 29 isn't old you know. Many of the males friends I know are between 28 to 35 years old and they don't even have any gf yet. So you are considered being young in finding a gf... hehe.
Nowadays, the marrying age is getting older... marrying after age 35 is very common here.
Interesting. I always felt quite different because most people here have a bf or gf much younger than that (girls usually younger than guys). In my closest circle of friends, I am , generally, pretty normal - but outside that circle ... mmmm ...
People get married at a later age here as well. Sometimes I think it is good, sometimes I think it is bad.
It is good because people are more mature. It is bad because (at least for me) I would have loved to have children when I was 20 - although, I cannot imagine myself as a father back then.
Yeah, I managed read everything because I got to work real, real early - I've been up since 05:00.
I am also a fast reader in the English language. For a standard paperback novel I average 1 page per minute or better. So a 300 page book takes me 5 hours (or less) to read.
Amen. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life :)
Hey Richard... I believe u are a happily married man, so thank God for that. :)
I am a slow reader but quick thinker and problem resolver... I am a 'DIY' person.
Michael, is your comment above for me or Richard? Sorry la.. three people commenting here and you didn't address any of us...hehe
Anyway, thanks, if that's for me. The Lord bless you too, brother.
Hi Bee, the comment is for you :) Only if we know God's plan for our lives, can we know who He wants us to marry. We have to hear from Him :)
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