Love and Like
The pain killers (naproxen and tramadol) didn't do much for my pain and inflamation at my right cheek, except making me so drowsy throughout. I slept a lot... now just feel like ranting....
When I was doing my devotion this morning on "No Grudges After Sunset", it reminded me of what a friend asked me yesterday. He asked if I like a certain person, as he assumed this person would have loved me.
Hmmn... interesting. What's the difference between "love and "like"?
"Love" - various meanings, can be explained in Greek:
1. Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love... a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros.
2. Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing... Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself.3. Philia (φιλία philía), means friendship... a dispassionate virtuous love... It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship.
4. Storge (στοργή storgē) means affection.... in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
5. Xenia (ξενία philoxenía), means hospitality... gratitude
"Like" - "To find pleasant or attractive; enjoy"... that means there is some form of chemistry, which may not be romantic. I think it refers to "philia" (3) and "storge" (4).
Well, I do "like" a few guys/gals (who are my good or best friends), and I do have "agape" love for a number of people, including those I like. But right now I do not have "eros" love for any one, as I don't think any of these guys I "like" have "eros" love for me either (perhaps once upon a time).
I will only love a guy if he truly loves me. If not, the liking I have for him will never become love (eros). So I will 'kill' my eros feeling whenever I detect it if I know it's just one-sided. To me, "eros" love cannot go without "agape" love. To truly love a person (as in a couple) " eros" and "agape" must be present.
Sounds complicated? It's ok, if you don't understand. :)
I still have to work tomorrow ... wonder if I can even wake up.
Labels: love, relationship
posted at 1/15/2006 07:00:00 PM |
Name: Bee
4 Comments:
Well, Bee, Eros is what the world seems focussed on to the exclusion of all else.
For me, Eros stems from a simple preprogrammed biological instinct. However, in my case, my conciousness has far more control over me than my instincts - I always stop, think, then act, rather than the more prevalent act, stop and think (and the last two are optional). This is one of the reasons I do not and never have consumed intoxicants.
But, there is a definition of love that is missing. As you said: To me, "eros" love cannot go without "agape" love.
I think our images and impressions of love are seriously distorted by popular culture (never mind it seems to have been popular since time immemorial). I have no name for it other than love and the way I experienced it was a realization that I wanted to share and build a life with this person; that I wanted this person to be the mother of my children.
It is easy to be attracted to a person. But, their suitability can only be determined over time. You migh twant to look at Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love in which he lists consummate love.
i do share your sentiment. :)
Agape simply means unconditional love, right? :)
Right, Michael. But not many people can practice unconditional love... most people love with conditions attached, even with their bf/gf or spouses.
That's why the bible have to keep telling Christians to practice agape love. Only till then, can our love for our loved ones be true and pure.
We are basically selfish beings, so only with God's help can we love unconditionally.
Post a Comment
<< Home