Monday, November 22, 2004

Flying Off

Flying off tomorrow morning.

So I won't update my blog for a while.

Wondering who will miss me or my blog updates...

Please email me if you do miss me.
(I will try to access my email during my trip, whenever possible.)

See you again, friends... hopefully.

Bye & take care!

For you.

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Saturday, November 20, 2004

My Dormant Passion: Gardening

Talking about plants excites me and it churns out my dormant passion/hobby in gardening again. :) The business and stress of making a living has somehow taken away all my time from nurturing this passion. :(

I have learnt many things about the human life through associating it with plant life. How we should treat/handle plants to make them grow well has a parallel in how we should treat/handle relationship with people to make it blossom.

My house plants were once my greatest companions... we enjoyed each other's company very much. I would stop at any plant nursery or shop if I happened to come across them and would buy accessories, plant food, new plants, etc. Plants delight me (still do)... I like greenery, freshness, life, nature. I hope to retire in a house with a nice garden. ;p

I like the interesting lessons by Gardener's Path, which highlighted many good learning points about plants and human relationship. Below are the excerpts of it and my personal reflections:



Lesson 1: They're Alive!

....Plants appreciate attention just like any other living thing.

....try to think like a plant...

....basic things, like companionship. The little plant might be a bit lonely, or scared, after the rather traumatic ride home...You are allowed to touch it and pet its leaves if you want.

....Talk to it and reassure it that things will be fine...

...many people are under the mistaken impression that plants will grow anywhere. Not true.... Plants have their preferences, too, and it is up to you to find out about your new friend and make things right.

A final note: recent science has shown that the DNA of humans isn't terriblly different from that of the mustard plant. Deep inside us, at our evolutionary core, we share some basic building blocks with plants. Take a good look at yourself, imagine you are the plant, and ask yourself what you need. The answers become obvious.

My Thoughts:
Yes, agree. I feel like a plant too. What the plant needs I need too. I need love and care to thrive, just like the plant does.


Lesson 2: Water!

....All plants need water. Some need just a very little bit every so often. Some need a drink once a week. Some want water every day. Some plants even live in ponds, taking in water continuously.

....each plant has different tastes...

....you must water the plant on a regular basis...

To water properly... pay attention to your plant and it will tell you what it needs. Look at your plant. Really look at it. Does it look healthy and happy? Things are probably fine. Does it look like it is drooping, or becoming parched? Does it look thirsty? Water it.

Think like a plant! Pay attention to what you do, and how it responds

My Thoughts:
True, I need you to 'pay attention' to my needs and responses if you hope that our relationship to flourish. Give the right amount of 'water' regularly... my preference... I am unique!


Lesson 3: Dirt!

....they live in the dirt...

Just as plants like different amounts of sun and water, the type of dirt they like is also a personal preference...

My Thoughts:
Hmmn, 'dirt' is a needed ingredient for growth. We all also have collected lots of 'dirt' too from birth till now. They are a necessary 'evil' I guess.


Lesson 4: Light!

....some plants that look like they might be great out in the hot sun actually prefer shade, and vice versa...

Try putting the plant in a place that is part sun and part shade. How does it do? During the sunny times of day, does it looked thrilled? Does it perk up when the shady time occur? Pay attention, and then adjust the location of your plant until it seems most happy.

In summary, plants like light. Some like it a lot, some like it a little, and it is up to you to find out how much light your plant wants if you want to succeed in gardening.

My Thoughts:
Again, it's up to you to find out how to balance between too much and too little 'light' based on preference. Tough job huh! No choice lei. This is what makes relationship interesting and challenging I guess.


Lesson 5: Experiment

The next skill to master is that of improvisation. Yes, this means relaxing and going with the flow...

Some plants love to be cut from time to time. You can do a Trim Test, and see if your plant likes to be cut back. Start by cutting or pinching the end of a single stem or branch. Watch what happens. Does it die? Then stop doing it. Does it heal, and split into more branches and start to grow back? If so, you might be able to encourage your plant to grow even bigger by cutting it back, as strange as it might seem. Plants can be hardy that way.

Does your plant look crowded in its little container? Has it been there a long time? Transplant it into something bigger and see if it improves.

My Thoughts:
Wow! This is a nice tip... didn't know about this before. 'Improvisation' is needed for relationship building as well. If not, things might become quite stale. Then again, care is needed in order not to go overboard. So be natural and 'watch' for responses again.


Lesson 6: Rescues

A plant in need is a plant indeed. If it weren't for you, this plant would wither and die. But you've come along. And you know of a spot that this plant could inhabit at your home, and you plan on giving it sun, water, and maybe some new dirt.

Yes, be on the lookout for the castaway plant. When you find one, adopt it as your own and do your best to rejuvenate it. If the plant begins to survive, you have got a friend for life.

Go ahead and reach out. Accept plants into your life when they come along, whether you find them in the street, or are given them by a friend. It is a win-win situation for you and the plant.

My Thoughts:
Hmmn, didn't thought of applying this to plants before though I did apply it to human life. Very good advice indeed! Some people are the sparks in our life without whom we might feel dull or lost.

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Friday, November 19, 2004

Cultivating Mystery and Trust

Had a not so productive day yesterday (Thu)... merely surfing the internet for travel information on Beijing and Hong Kong, and also packed my travel bag for my trip next week. Lots of warm wears to bring along since it will be nearing winter over there. I also played with Blogger and realized it has added some newer and nicer templates now. However, I still find it confusing to use Blogger as compared to Blog-city.

Then the statement said in the TV show came to my mind again and made me pondered: "Once the feeling is gone, it's hard to find it back..."

Hmmn, unknowingly that 'feeling' I once had is gone too (though I still care). Not sure when it happened but I guess it's a gradual process through time... just like when we don't water our plants regularly they will die sooner or later. Will that 'feeling' return one day? I guess it depends. Some plants can regrow through proper glazing management.

I am a plants lover though I don't have a garden of my own. I used to sing to my potted plants as I tended to them daily in the past. I always hope I could have my own garden one day. My plants grew very well under my tender loving care, and people said I have 'green fingers'. Unfortunately, I don't have the time now to look after my plants and most of them withered and died.

As I surfed the internet for information on plant regrowth I came across a very meaningful article, Cultivating Mystery and Trust. Shelley shared her experiences and the things she learnt while tending her garden. I like the letter written by 'Mother Nature' to Shelley as what she wrote is very encouraging. Below are just excerpt of it...

As your garden blooms, so does your inner being, for you are starting to experience the wondrous reality that all growing things, including human beings, make up one seamless yet complex assembly or, as your ecologists like to say, web of life. This web, despite its unpredictability and turbulence at times, is ultimately benign.

In the digging and sifting, mulching and fertilising, weeding and pruning, you are cultivating more than the garden. You are cultivating your soul, for the two are inseparable rites of passage...

....And this is really what your writing is to be about. Helping people to understand that everything is designed to work perfectly, that nothing is failure, everything is accomplishment, everything is purposeful, no matter what feelings you have about it.

Even your unhappiness is worth loving, for it heralds your readiness for change. Painful feelings and experiences are simply another segment of this life.

Thorn on the rose. Is it painful? Or is it just there? It is really just an energy field. It can be painful. But it doesn't have to be. If you will learn to hold the rose where the thorns are not, you do not feel pain from the thorn on the rose...

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Once the Feeling Is Gone

"Once the feeling is gone, it's hard to find it back..."
I watched the final episode of the Chinese drama series at TV Ch 8 last night. Thie above statement was said by a male character to the gal he once loved but who had rejected him yet she wanted him back now. A sad but factual statement indeed.

Friend C told me the same thing recently, i.e. if his ex-gf wants him back later (just broke off recently) he will not give her a second chance. Not sure if he is being MCP or he has never loved her enough.

This goes back to the question on what is love? Is love just a feeling?

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Online Chats Curfew

Work up very early this morning as I have to make a call to someone (my new boss-to-be) regarding work before he leaves for oversea. Anyway, I better practise waking up early from now on so I will get use to it when I start working on my project full time next month.

Before I close 'shop', I must blog the following interesting dialogue I had with C this morning (not my boss, not about work... hehe).

C: why don't you take some time off, turn off all your chat programs. fast chatting for a week and pray, ask God to reveal to you some insights?

B: ya... i m trying to do dat...as u can see in my last entry

C: why try? why not just do it? but you're doing it because of your commitments to other things... and you're stopping blogging. nothing else... i'm asking that you 'fast' online chatting and pray

B: erm... ya.. 'close shop', also reduce chat time lor...anyway, once i start my project i dun think i can afford to chat dat much liao

C: if you can take it, then consider my suggestion.

B: ya...will consider.. in fact was thinking of it already when i say i want to close shop.. close shop also links to chat ma... see, pple who read my blog might chat with me as follow up lor

C: um. as i said, i'm not talking about 'closing shop'. i'm talking abt fast n pray... about ur time spent online stuffs

B: oh, dat one dun need to fast n pray, just need to act... so it means i wun chat with u oso lor

C: as long as you know what you're doing

B: ya, brother...thanks for ur advice

(pause)

C: i'm restless and sad... gonna lose lil one... *waaaaaaahhh*

B: wat's "lil"?

C: bee =lil one =P

B: why u say 'lose'?

C: cos no more online

B: aiyo...u contradict urself lei...tell me dun go online, then still feel losing my presence ah

C: i said FAST online for a week or so. NOT QUIT.... terrible girl, put words in my mouth.. notty girl

B: on house arrest huh?

C: nope. no ice-cream for u!

B: ya...curfew huh

C: u drive me nuts =P ... wat has curfew gotta do with icecream?

B: curfew... stay at home, can't go out, so no icream lor

C: LOL .. amazing

It fascinates me how people can have double standards when it comes to themeslves (not complaining though... haha). Anyway, I guess I should really spend less time chatting from now on... not that I chat with many people (1 or 2 regulars + 2 or 3 occassionals), perhaps it's the duration of chats that matters. So if you happen to see me online, must catch me fast before I disappear. :)

Oh yes, I have to sleep very early tonight (10 p.m.) 'cos I have to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow for my trip to JB for 2 to 3 days. So it's a natural online chats curfew lor... :(

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

My Last Entry?

I think I need to hang up my 'apron' or close 'shop' soon...

You see, I have many commitments coming up: study (3 assignments to complete within these 2 months); planning camp trip (11/11/04 to 13/11/04); 10-days oversea trip from 23/11/04; new work project starting from Dec. I need to fully concentrate in these areas of my life to do well. Not forgetting my spiritual life as well.

So friends, when you can't find my blog address again the next time round it means it's gone for good.

Goodbye and thanks for reading my blog. May God bless you. :)

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Monday, November 08, 2004

Before Your Ice-cream Melts

I posted an entry "Making Choices" (26 Oct 04) regarding the story below (told by D at his blog).

"A boy was given a choice to either have a tub of chocolate-chipped ice-cream or a stick of cherry flavored ice-cream. The boy took half an hour and couldn't make up his mind... An hour later, he cried out loud... both ice-cream had melted."

Then today, D posted the following caption with the picture he placed at Friendster:

"If U can't decide whether or not to have the ice-cream, give it to someone else before it melt away."

Hmmn... very well said. Yes, don't waste it... time waits for no man.

Somehow, I feel D is a very insightful person and wise in his thoughts... he thinks deeply about life I guess. Unfortunately, there is certain deficiency that hinders his progress or reduces his confidence and self-esteem. I will remember him in my prayers... "With God nothing is impossible."

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Sunday, November 07, 2004

What Woman Looks for in Her 'Husband'?

D said at his blog that all his friends are ladies. Well, nothing surprising as opposite attracts. He also said, "Some men are to be "befriended", not beloved." Hmmn... some truth in that statement. But I would rather say some men can be friends, only one can be husband to a woman.

Since only one men can be 'husband' then what is it that a woman looks for in her 'husband'? Is it look, wealth, personality, the mysterious thing call 'chemistry', or what? Sometimes I find it hard to define too. Yet, I do have a very basic guideline that supersedes all these criteria.

To think of it, I have many male course mates whom I have met in real life. However, though they are my friends I am not attracted to any of them nor do we share much about our personal life, other than our study. On the other hand, I can be attached to some friends I made online simply because we share more personal experiences and feelings, though we have not met in person.

I guess my online friends and I will never have shared as much if we have met in person instead. So to me, it is the ability to have mutual sharing of hearts and minds that makes two persons 'clique' and might ultimately leads to a complimentary pair. Well, others might think otherwise.

I am still feeling headache and tired now... need to sleep early. Goodnight!

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Friday, November 05, 2004

My Wet Weather Study Classes

Again I was drenched yesterday while trying to get to my class held near Beach Road. I walked in the heavy rain from Bencoolen Street all the way to the end of Middle Road, wagging through puddle of rain water everywhere along the pedestrian paths. As if that's not enough, splashes of rain water created by passing vehicles joined in to ensure I had a good whale of a time... hehe. The walk was about 20 minutes but it seemed longer than that. My big umbrella didn't seem to help much as the rain seeped through after awhile.

This kind of wet experience happened since Tuesday, the start of my study classes. Hmmn, maybe I should have worn short and slippers to class instead. Hopefully I won't be caught in the same situation again today, the last day of my study session for this semester.

One interesting thing to note is that a number of guys in my class are either same height as I or shorter than me, including some Professors... not that I am very tall though. Is that a mark of an Educator? But of course there is one or two who are very tall. ;p

Will meet my friends at Bugis Junction first before class start later. Hope it would be a fine day today.

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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Dear Lord - poem

Dear Lord,

You know me more than I know myself;
What I cannot see you see them so well.
You know my future; you don't want me to go the wrong way;
So you allow things to happen to direct me to the right place.

I know it pains your heart to see me cry in agony;
Yet you promise to be with me in this life's journey.
You also promise to wipe away my tears,
And stay with me and remove all my fears.

Once again, I want to surrender myself to you;
Please change my heart again and turn it to you.
Cause my heart to go into deep, deep, sleep,
Wake it up again when it's time for us to meet.

Now I am very exhausted from too much crying,
But I still want to pray for someone dear.
May you bless him as he seeks your face.
May you guide his path and grant him grace.

In Jesus' name I humbly pray.


- your child, Bee

posted Friday, November 04, 2004

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