Saturday, December 31, 2005

Goodbye 2005



Now I'll say, "Goodbye 2005".
There were many happenings in my life...
the sweet, sour, bitter, and the nice.
And I also wish to say "Goodbye"
To all the events that blind my eyes
and the things I wouldn't take pride.

Hoping for a new 2006;
Although I don't know what it would take,
and I don't know what my future holds,
but I know who holds my tomorrow.
It's for me to explore and venture
And for God to remove what's obscure.

Goodbye 2005

- Bee


My Reflection

Yesterday I wrote about the five important things I lost in My 2005. But after today, they will become 'history'. I will start from scratch to rebuild what I have lost from tomorrow, 2006... but things won't be the same anymore.

Career -- I might move away from what I have been trained to do
Study -- I might learn new skills instead of continue with my research study
Loved ones -- erm... learning to practice Agape love to the people God shows me
Self-esteem -- hmmn... shouldn't I be proud that I am the Princess of the King of Kings? (Revelation 17:14)
Self-confidence -- yes, trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)


What about the things I gained in 2005?

God
New e-friends
New understanding of love
New understanding of myself
New understanding of people

Labels: , ,

Friday, December 30, 2005

My 2005

The year 2005 is coming to an end tomorrow. Some people might have been thinking about the resolutions they wish to make for 2006. What about a reflection on what they have achieved or missed in 2005 first?

For me, 2005 is the worst year in my life as an adult... I lost many things dear to me...
my career
my study
my loved ones
my self-esteem
my confidence

All these make me see how vulnerable and helpless I can be, though I might have been considered a very successful person before. I went through some darkest moments in my life marked by tears. The only thing that kept me going was my faith in Jesus Christ, my Lord. It was like a 'stripping process' to remove what's natural to me so I may know that my trust and hope shouldn't be in these things, but in God.

For the last two months, I have been spending time doing my devotion with God daily w/o fail... something I wasn't that consistent with in the past. I am learning to trust in God's unfailing love and care for me, and to know His plan in my life. It might be something totally different from what my natural mind could think of.

Now for the rest, my friends and readers, perhaps the following article might encourage you to reflect about your own life just as it has prompted me to reflect mine above....


Don't wait until I'm dead to bring me flowers
by Connie Ard

There is a cemetery on our way to church. I began to notice every Sunday a man visiting a grave. There is a bench near the grave that he visits and that's most often where I see him. Sometimes, he's picking weeds or laying flowers on the grave. One Sunday, my mind began to wander after I saw the man sitting there.

Who's buried there?
His wife perhaps?
Did she know while she was alive how much he loved her?
Did he spend so much time with her when she was alive?
Was he as devoted a husband then as he is now?
Did he bring her flowers to show he cared while she could enjoy them?

I had to resist the urge to tell my husband,"Don't wait until I'm dead to bring me flowers!" Dead people can't enjoy flowers.

They can't look at the beautiful colors or touch the soft petals.
They can't study the intricate way a rose folds together or the delicate curling of a lily.
They can't smell the wondrous smell of one of God's creations.
They can't enjoy the emotions of love with which the flowers were given or the joy with which they are received.

Have you told someone who means the world to you "I love you" recently?
Have you given them a hug or a kiss to remind them how much they are loved?
It doesn't take much to let someone know you love them. Let them know before it's too late.

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Santa Claus or Satan Claws?

I was quite surprised that somebody whom I thought to be a 'Christian' believe in Santa Claus and have dressed like one for Christmas. I personally don't believe in Santa Claus and I view it as just another commercial marketing tactic. In my search to answer the question, "Does Santa Claus exist?", I discovered shocking truth about it... more than meet the eyes.

I find the following excerpts of articles helpful in answering the question (italic text mine):


Does Santa Claus exist?... a scientific investigation into Santa Claus ....If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.


The Great Imposer... unmasking the face of Satan:

1. THE CONCERN (the disguise)

Is Santa just a jolly, harmless, friendly fellow? Or is there something or someone else hiding behind jolly ol’ St. Nick?

The Devil is a master of disguise. He can make it appear good, pleasant, and seemingly so innocent – and yet it is deadly! The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 11:14, "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light" He does not appear with horns and a pitch fork breathing fire. He might just appear as a pleasant, friendly, fellow, with "a broad face and a round little belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. . ."

Could Santa Claus be a subtle, clever attack on our children to confuse, doubt and rob their God-ordained "child like" faith? Satan knows, if he can somehow get that child through those fruitful early years without trusting the Lord Jesus Christ – his goal of eternal damnation in hell increases substantially


2. THE COMING (who is he?)

Where did Santa come from?

According to the legend, Santa began as a fourth century Catholic bishop named Saint Nicholas. The cult of St. Nicholas was one of histories most widespread religious movements. According to St. Nicholas historian, Charles W. Jones, ". . . the cult of St. Nicholas was, before the Reformation, the most intensive of any nonbiblical saint in Christendom. . . there were 2,137 ecclesiastical dedications [churches] to Nicholas in France, Germany, and the Low Countries alone before the year 1500."

The mysterious St. Nicholas.

The first major problem in the Santa Claus saga is the person of St. Nicholas. There is very little evidence, if any, that the man St. Nicholas actually existed.

Nearly all Santa researchers agree that some traits of Santa was borrowed from Norse [Scandinavian] mythology.

The startling fact is, Santa Claus is not the Bishop St. Nicholas – but his Dark Helper!

The shocking truth is Santa Claus originated from a character identified as the devil or Satan.

"The fact is that Santa and Satan are alter egos, brothers; they have the same origin. . . On the surface, the two figures are polar opposites, but underneath they share the same parent, and both retain many of the old symbols associated with their "father" . . . From these two paths, he arrived at both the warmth of our fireplace and in the flames of hell. (Siefker, Phyllis. Santa Claus, Last of the Wild Men: The Origins and Evolution of Saint Nicholas. Jefferson: McFarland & Company, Inc., 1997, p. 6)"


3. THE CAUSE (the copy cat)

Santa

and thou shalt call his name. . . (Matthew 1:21) -- You ever noticed how easy it is to transform "Satan" from "Santa"? Just move the "n" to the end. And presto! "Satan" appears. . . Hmmm….

An internet Google search on "Satan Claus" [not Santa Claus – but SATAN Claus] found over 1,700 hits!
(I found 666,000 hits... the number of Satan) Obviously, there are many that tie the two together."

What about Claus?

Is "Claus" another anagram for "Lucas"?

It’s no secret Lucas and Lucis are new-age "code words" for Lucifer. The Alice Bailey founded new age, occult publishing company was originally named Lucifer Publishing Company but in 1924 the name was cleverly changed to Lucis Trust. By the way, the Lucifer worshipping Lucis Trust is a major player in the works of the United Nations, formerly located in the United Nations building but now located on prime-time 1200 Wall Street.

Claus sounds a lot like "claws."

Maybe Santa Claus means "Satan's Claws"? Like a lion's "claws"?

Old Nick: A well-known British name of the Devil. It seems probable that this name is derived from the Dutch Nikken, the devil...
(Encyclopedia of Occultism and Parapsychology, p.650)

It is also interesting, the book American Slang defines
the slang word nick: to rob or steal. (Robert L. Chapman, American Slang, p. 297)

This is how the Lord Jesus characterizes the devil in John 10:

1 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way [say a chimney?], the same is a thief and a robber. . .
9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:1,9,10



His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow. . . (Rev. 1:14)
-- Who's got a beard that's long and white... Santa's got a beard that's long and white




Who is this that cometh. . . red in thine apparel (Isaiah 63:2)
-- Who wears boots and a suit of red Santa wears boots and a suit of red






And his feet. . . as if they burned in a furnace (Revelation 1:15)
-- Now who has their feet in an furnace? Who comes down a chimney into a furnace?






Is not this the carpenter. . . (Mark 6:3) -- Santa is no plumber, or electrician, or blacksmith. Santa is a carpenter.


His house. . . was toward the north (Ezekiel 8:14)
-- Everyone knows Santa lives at the North Pole.




And they clothed him with purple, and platted a crown of thorns, and put it about his head (Mark 15:17) -- many writers believe the actual "crown of thorns" wore by the Lord Jesus Christ, was indeed the familiar "holly" wreath. Another plant enthusiast writes of the holly plant and it's portrayal of the "crown of thorns":



. . . who rideth upon the heaven in thy help. . . (Deuteronomy 33:26) -- As everyone knows, Santa miraculously rides upon the heavens as he delivers his gifts and love.

Ho, ho. . . saith. . . (Zechariah 2:6) -- Satan Claus.


. . .and his angels were cast out with him (Revelation 12:9) -- Santa’s Little Helpers? Santa has some cute little helpers called elves. Webster’s Dictionary has an interesting definition for the friendly elf:
ELF
1. A wandering spirit; a fairy; a hobgoblin; an imaginary being which our rude ancestors supposed to inhabit unfrequented places, and in various ways to affect mankind. . .
2. An evil spirit; a devil.
(Webster's Dictionary “elf”)




. . . for his great love wherewith he loved us (Ephesians 2:4)
-- Satan is accomplishing EXACTLY what he desired. Satan’s ultimate goal is worship. And millions of children are lovingly giving him their God-given child-like faith. They love their Santa! They worship their Santa!


. . . Ask, and it shall be given you. . . (Matthew 7:7) -- Millions of young children will anxiously climb into the loving lap of their Santa Claus. They will whisper in his ear their little hearts desire. Then they will jump out of bed Christmas morning, with eyes shimmering, and hearts pounding — and there is all the wonderful gifts Santa brought them.

All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. (Matthew 28:18) -- Children are taught, religiously, that Santa knows everything. He knows when they’re awake. He knows when they’re sleeping. He knows what they want for Christmas.

. . . thy years are throughout all generations. (Psalm 102:24) -- Santa Claus is like the Son of God: "Without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life; but made like unto the Son of God;. . ." Hebrews 7:3

. . .I will pour out my spirit. . . (Proverbs 1:23) -- The Christmas "Spirit"? And yes, Santa has his own "spirit." The "Spirit of Christmas." Isn’t that a little strange?

Come, ye children. . . I will teach you the fear of. . . (Psalm 34:11) -- Children the world over are taught to FEAR Santa. You’d better go to bed little boy – Santa is watching. Millions of fearful children are told, "You’d better behave. Santa is watching. You might not get anything for Christmas."

. . . every one of us shall give account of himself to. . . (Romans 14:12) -- Santa?

. . . then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory. (Matthew 25:31) -- Take a trip to the local mall at Christmas time. Go watch Santa sitting on his royal throne. Kids are lined up to sit on his lap of judgement. What does Santa ask them, "Have you been a good little boy?" "Have you been a good little girl?’... There’s no question Satan (or Santa. . . ditto) is sitting on his throne. There is no question it is a mockery and pretender of the judgement of a Holy God.

. . . were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. (Revelation 20:12) -- Right on schedule. . . Santa also has a list to judge who's "naughty or nice"

And many believed on him. . . (John 10:42) -- Do you really believe it’s just a coincidence that Santa (a.k.a. Satan), over and over, is counterfeiting the Lord Jesus Christ?

behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called. . . (Revelation 19:11) -- This Christmas Eve millions and millions of little children will climb into their beds "looking for their blessed hope and the glorious appearing" of Santa Claus... They get so excited. . . Santa is coming! Satan is coming!


4. THE CONCLUSION

I am sure many reading this are thinking, "Aw, c'mon, Santa Claus is just fantasy. What is the big deal. Nobody takes it serious."

And that is where you are WRONG – DEAD WRONG! Those little children take their Santa very serious! They literally worship him! They believe and love Santa with all their heart!

Most parents would never teach their beautiful little children such a lie as Santa Claus. Most parents would never openly lie to their children. Especially something that is a blasphemous imposter of the Lord Jesus.
And Satan knows this.

So he disguises the lie in a nice little package of make-believe and fantasy. He creates a harmless ol' jolly fellow that just loves little children. And most parents think, "Now what could be wrong with that?"

Fantasy. . . Satan's “magic weapon.”

Satanist Anton LaVey, author of The Satanic Bible and founder of the First Church of Satan, writes fantasy is a "magic weapon" in Satanism.

"Fantasy plays an important role in any religious curriculum, for the subjective mind is less discriminating about the quality of its food than it is about the taste. . . Thus, fantasy is utilized as a magic weapon [in Satanism]. . . The Satanist maintains a storehouse of avowed fantasy gathered from all cultures and from all ages."
(Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Rituals, p. 15, 27)

Labels: ,

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Dead Tired For Jesus


Just got back from volunteering at the "Celebrate Christmas in Singapore event". (see report) I am dead tired since I have to rush to church in the morning, then rush to report for volunteers duty after lunch and stay at the event till about 10.30 p.m.

It was a good experience. The side benefits of being a volunteer were firstly, I got to shake the hands with the VVIPs, including the Guest of Honour, BG George Yeo (Minister for Foreign Affairs). :) Secondly, I got to watch the whole performance with unblocked view. :P

Thank God for the perfect weather, though December is a raining month in Singapore. It has been raining the last few days but not today. The performances by Christians from different countries were fantastic! Somehow, the gospel of Christ was preached in a very clear way tonight. The glory of Christ was shown through the dances, singings and testimonies right in the heart of Singapore's Orchard Road. It was like having a Mega Church where more than 20,000 people congregate. Wow!!

I pray that what they have seen and heard will remain in their hearts and bear fruits.

a quick rehearsal before the show time.

Labels:

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Christmas Is Christmas When...

All I want for Christmas is my two molar teeth... my two molar teeth... my two molar teeth!

Yes, I went to see the same dentist again this morning and he did another job for the tooth next to the one he did more than a week ago. I am not sure if it would have solved my problem, 'cos my mouth is still numb, so can't tell.

Well, for my dear readers and friends, I want to dedicate the following Christmas poem to you...





Christmas is Christmas
when love abounds.
Christmas is Christmas
when peace surrounds.

May your Christmas be
filled with joy and peace.
May your Christmas brings
hope that you can't see.

May your Christmas be different
from the one last year.
Christmas is Christmas
when Jesus is here.

- Bee

Labels: , ,

Thursday, December 22, 2005

My Christmas Gifts

Warning: Don't bother to read this if you have no time...

Why give gifts?
Many Christmases have passed by and I have been giving gifts to others each Christmas. We also used to have gifts-exchange time in church too. But it seems that gradually these activities have become just a commercial practice where its true meaning has lost. We have not been doing it for the last few Christmases. We believe more in giving throughout the year rather than once in a year.

What did I give?
For this coming Christmas I didn't buy any gift, except 5 Christmas cards. Why send Christmas cards when I can send e-cards? Well, my personalized, hand-written cards (though one commented my handwriting is 'ugly'), with my 5 individually composed Christmas poem, take effort, thoughts, and time, especially when I have to send some of them oversea. So the 5 who have got my cards are somewhat special to me, isn't it?

Who can appreciate my gifts?
Yet not everyone can appreciate such actions. :( To those who do: "Thank You Very Much" for appreciating it. In fact, one of them has also spent much time to make something for me in return, though I might only get it after Christmas.... it's ok, for I appreciate the thought and effort very much! :)

The gift of time
Richard said at his blog, "Time is far more precious than money. If you run out of money, there are a myriad of ways you can generate more. If you run out of time, there is no way you can generate more."

Indeed time is life itself. When we give time to a person we are giving part of our life to him/her. I value the time people give to me more than anything else... for money can't buy time, and that's what I wish to give to those I care too. But again, not everyone see the value of time.

Giving to the wrong people
Richard also mentioned in one of his comment to another blog, "I know all too well the feeling of always giving and not getting as much in return. Sometimes it seems that when I stop giving, I stop getting. If I don't call people, they don't call me."

Yes, that's exactly how I feel too. Very often I have to be the one to initiate a chat/conversation/call... if I don't do it, the other person will not initiate it. They only do when they need my help or info. *sigh* Is it so hard to just say "Hi" or "Good morning" when you see your friends (especially the close ones) online, even if you are busy and don't intend to chat? I feel quite discourage over this at times.

Giving to the right people
Jesus advised, "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6)

"The swine cannot possibly appreciate the beauty and complexity of a fine, rare pearl. The swine only sees that they are not edible, and therefore dismisses them as unimportant and worthless, trampling those costly gems underfoot... You have twenty-four hours available to you today -- 86,400 seconds.... Those seconds are your pearls. Where you cast them is completely up to you. " (Twenty-Four Hours)

Re-evaluating who to give
I guess I need to re-evaluate my friendship/relationship with people who don't have affinity with me and to start anew for 2006. I only have 24-hours a day. Time is my life, so I need to prioritize my time and give it only to those who could appreciate it. I need to set my new year resolution soon and start moving on....



Thank you for taking time to read this far.... I appreciate it.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

New Hp

Finally, I got my hp changed for a brand new one at the Sony Ericsson Center, including battery, last Sun. That's 2 weeks after I bought my phone and my complaint. But I still have the PC suite problem unresolved. I have to fix an appointment just to see the technical staff to configure my computer to work with it.... very troublesome ya. :(

Labels:

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Orchard Road Closure on Christmas Day

The "Singing Christmas Tree" seems to be singing better each night. The one I saw last Sunday night was better than the one on last Friday night. Maybe it's b'cos those performing later have a better feel of the tree stage and could make the necessary changes according to the environment. It's an open-air stage so the choir's voices might be dispersed thin. Also the choirs do not have any chance for rehearsal on the tree stage before the actual performance.

I took a few more photo and have added them to my Rainbow blog album.


Hmmn...what's the person on the right-hand photo doing? :)


The photo right below is a Malaysia group.... these guys were dancing away happily when I took their picture. I was wondering why they were wearing cowboy hats. Was that Malaysian culture? Anyone has any clue??




Oh yes, it's confirmed now that Orchard Road will be closed to traffic on 25 Dec 2005, from 2 p.m. to 1 a.m., the following day, for the Christmas Celebration.

Labels:

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Orchard Road Christmas Walk

Last night, I went to Orchard Road for a walk with my friends as planned. Never do that for many years already. It's nice to be able to just leisurely stroll down the lane at night.

Well, the whole road was lighted up with lots and lots of activities going on. There were a number of singing performances along the stretch of Orchard Road at various places. A nice feeling walking into the 'street of Bethleham' just in front of Ngee Ann City. You get to see people from all over the world as well. Good for pictures taking ya.

You may like to take a look at some pictures I have taken uploaded at my Rainbow blog.

Btw, there is no road block as what I thought. I think the road will only be blocked on Christmas eve and Christmas night instead.

If you are free, do drop by Orchard Road to catch the actual scene then...

Labels:

Friday, December 16, 2005

My Handwriting

Yesterday, somebody who saw my handwriting for the first time said it is 'ugly'... haha... I do agree. Sometimes I think it's like doctor's handwriting when I am in a hurry. The only time my handwritting looks nice is when I write on the whiteboard, especially when I am teaching children. :P

Ok, see for yourself how 'horrible' it can be when I have to write with a mouse...
Handwriting Analysis

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.


Hmmn.... me 'talkative'? I wish I am. And well, I do get affected by the opinions of those close to me.

Labels: ,

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Celebrate Christmas In Singapore

Some of you already know that I am involved in the Choir* for the Celebrate Christmas In Singapore (at Orchard). Well, the program will start tomorrow... so fast ya.

From 16th to 25th Dec 2005, exciting events have been planned every evening at Orchard Road in Singapore. The stretch of road, from Orchard MRT Station to Paragon, will be blocked from traffic for the parade of floats on the 16th, to the Grand Concert and Street Celebration on Orchard Road itself on 25th... the birth of Jesus will be presented in attractive and meaningful ways. VIPs from Singapore and other countries will be there to grace the events too.

Highlights of the events include the following:

Christmas Celebration Village
Singing Christmas Tree (Ngee Ann City)*
Stage Performances
Foreign Tribal and Ethnic Groups
Parade of Floats
Grand Christmas Concert on Orchard Road

*The "Singing Christmas Tree", which consists of a 70-members Choir each night by various Churches in Sinagpore and from overseas, will bring back fond memories of the 1st singing Christmas Tree held on vacant ground prior to the construction of Ngee Ann City.


You will receive the full program booklet when you step into Orchard Road, any night between 16 to 25 Dec 05.

Oh, I won't be singing every night... just one of the nights... hehe. See if you can guess which night I will be singing. :P I will also be involved in doing other volunteer works as well on a different night.

I will be going with my friends to Orchard Road tomorrow night for walk walk... See you. :)

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Action Words

Show me. Don't Tell Me. (from Daily Encounter)

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves" (James 1:22, NKJV).

"There's a wonderful scene near the end of the movie 'My Fair Lady' in which Eliza Doolittle sings words that God must also sing. She says, 'Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words.... If you're in love, Show me!'"

Yesterday we talked about the importance and power of words. However, if words are spoken only from the head and not the heart, and are misused to impress, flatter, manipulate, or don't mean a thing to the one who speaks them, they can be worse than useless.

It's the same with our Christian witness. If we say we are a believer and don't act accordingly, what does it mean? It means nothing.

I recall seeing a poster on the wall of the office where I attended college. It read:

The living truth is what I long to see
I cannot live on what used to be
So close your Bible and show me how
The Christ you talk about is living now.

As Jesus said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."



My Thoughts:

Very true. "Verbs" are action words. Whenever someone uses a "verb" (e.g. run, walk, sit , eat, etc) we expect to see action.

However, very often we forget that the word "love" is a verb of "verbs". When we say we "love" someone we are suppose to show the actions that follow it.

A pastor once said he prefers to use the word "care" to the word "love" because people tend to associate "love" with feelings only. They forget that "love" requires many actions. On the other hand, the act of caring is a form of "love" even though you don't feel romantic about it. When you care, you are expressing your will to love.

Just like what the poem says in the above article, Christians must walk their talks. If a person says he wants to 'seek God' more, and by so doing he begins to care for you less, what do you call that?

Labels: ,

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Words, You are so Powerful

It's Only Words (from Daily Encounter)

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver," and, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up" (Proverbs 12:25; 25:11, NIV).

One of my favorite songs sung by the Bee Gees a number of years ago went something like this: "It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away."

Words can be a force far beyond their weight, and can have an impact far beyond their immediate reach. With words we can make people laugh—or cry; respond positively—or negatively; draw people closer to us—or drive them away. With words we can inspire people to noble acts of kindness or, if we are so inclined, to evil deeds of wickedness. Compare the words of Martin Luther King with those of Hitler.

And while you and I will never be a King or a Hitler, our words can and do have a lasting impact especially on our spouse and on our children—as well as on our friends, associates, and people in our circle of influence. I know of one mother who told her daughter that she wasn't wanted and that child, now an adult, is still traumatized by that rejection. And speaking personally, I can still remember words of encouragement I received as a young man growing up—words that have stayed with me all of my adult life.

So never forget the impact your words can have on those you love the most and those who are closest to you—and even on strangers. Remember today's scripture verse: "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up," and that:

Words spoken may soon pass away
and forgotten me,
but when spoken in love and kindness
are like beautiful flowers,
and even though they fade and die
from conscious memory,
their fragrance lives on
embedded in the deeper mind-
forever.


My Thoughts:

I wonder how many of you have subscribed to the "Daily Encounter" since I last email you. It never fails to encourage me and speak the right words to me at the right time most of the time, just like the one above.

I was not feeling too good lately, both physically and emotionally. I don't even feel like reading blogs as often as I used to do.

I know how important words are (both spoken and written)... either bringing life or death to a person. Blogs are mainly written words.

The words said to me in my childhood days remain with me even now and they almost kill me literally. On the other hand, the words promised by God have saved me when I am almost dead.

Yes, simple words said or written by some of you commenting at my blog mean a lot to me too... they can make me cry with joy. Thank you for your encouraging words, my friends.

Yet, some comments can make me cry hurting sometimes, like one of the blog I visited and commented recently. The writer (someone I know) wrote a poem about his warm feeling towards a gal (logical deduction tells me it's a gal, though he didn't say who or what the subject is). Well, I congratulated him... erm, but I was 'shot down' by his reply to my comment. *sigh* Yes, I might have got the wrong impression of what he was trying to express, but he could have been more gentle with his words in his reply. I promise not to comment there again as I felt like an idiot, guessing wrongly on his hidden messages all the time.


Words, you are so powerful...
you can heal and can kill.
Words, please be gentle with me...
I am sensitive to you and can feel.
Words, please understand me...
I can't understand hidden messages.
Words, please stand by me...
I am lost without you.
- Bee

Labels: , ,

My Mouth Hurt

Ouch! My mouth and tooth still hurt after my visit to the dentist yesterday evening. My tongue has two ulcers... not sure if they're the result of the injection or I bit it when it was numb. I felt like a 'guinea pig' as the dentist wasn't sure which of my teeth is causing the pain... so he used the 'elimination' method on me. *sigh*

I hope they will get better soon as I still have to attend the choir practice at night. I am still feeling very tired...

Labels:

Monday, December 12, 2005

Headache

Thanks to those of you who are concern about me. Sorry that I didn't visit your blogs recently as I wasn't feeling well.

Ah, I feel rather tired lately and by about 11 p.m. each night I seem to get tension headache which forces me to sleep early. Even when I walk around, I feel as if I am 'floating'.

I only realize it was associated with my toothache today. I shall be seeing a dentist soon.

Labels:

Sunday, December 11, 2005

When I - Poem

When I am quiet,
I am lost.

When I am not arguing,
I am hurt.

When I look at you with eyes full of questions,
I am confused.

When I answer "I'm fine" after a few seconds,
I am not.

When I stare at you,
I am wondering how long you will stay.

When I want to see you everyday,
I love you too much.

When I SMS you everyday,
I think of you too often.

When I say "I miss you",
I will cry.

When I say "I love you",
I really do.

- Bee

Labels: , ,

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Three Words



When the Best Advice Is No Advice (From Daily Encounter)

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15).

"sometimes the best 'advice' to give to hurting people is not to give any advice but to 'weep with those who weep' and let them know that we care and that we love them.

"I did this for a family member last night who was hurting real bad ... I just held him while he (a young adult) sobbed and sobbed in my arms. After his pain subsided, we prayed together and I assured him that I loved him. He was dealing with some major childhood hurts he had never resolved as well as the recent loss of his girlfriend.

"Life surely can have its painful times. Do remember however, that when Jesus grieved, he wept too."




My Thoughts:

The above article caught my attention as I tend to give advice naturally. I seem to be able to supply practical solutions most time to people in despair. Yet there is one situation where I will become tongue-tight...

I always find it hard to say anything when someone cries... I feel lost... I can only cry along and pray silently. I feel that nothing I say will ever make the person's pain any lesser.

When I cry, no words can soothe my pain too except 3 words. These 3 words instantly take away my pain, even if it's just for that moment. These 3 words mean a lot to me when said in sincerity as I have never heard these 3 words in my childhood days before. I have heard these 3 words as an adult, but I guess I will not hear it again...

What are these 3 words?

Labels: ,

Friday, December 09, 2005

Attitude



Attitude

One's attitude is more important than one's aptitude
as one's attitude will determine one's altitude.
One's attitude is shown in one's gratitude
to those who have shared in one's solitude.

One's attitude that is humble and meek
will bring honor that one doesn't seek.
One's attitude that is same as Christ's
will receive the glory promised as prize.

- Bee



My Thoughts:

Prior to my devotion this morning, I received a call from my friend (also my ex-colleague) who is residing in Malaysia. The call was so timely... I was thinking about her last night and even whispered a prayer for her this morning before I got out of bed. I wondered how she is doing since I last spoke to her about 2 months ago.

What my friend shared with me about her boss (also my ex-boss) really saddened me. I have never come across a person with an attitude that my ex-boss has... his pride is his downfalls... yet he seems to be unaware of it, or just simply ignores business ethics and Christian values. I pray that this Christmas will be a time that God convicts him to right his wrongs before more judgments come upon him.

I felt inspired to write the above poem while doing my devotion, as it talks about the attitude we should have.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Questions about Relationships

I have not been blogging here for a while but I am still blogging at my "devotion" blog daily. I guess my focus now is to seek God for His direction in my life and to put aside all thoughts related to BGR (Boy-Girl-Relationship) at this moment. I need to rediscover myself.

As I was doing my "devotion" the other day and looking for articles on "friends", I came across a website, "Questions about Relationships". I have read most of the articles there but the followings seem most interesting. You may like to read them and tell me what you think...
How can I overcome feelings of rejection?

What is true friendship according to the Bible?

How can I know if I am in love?

Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse?


When is the right time for marriage?

What should be the Christian view of romance?

Is there such a thing as soul mates? Does God have one specific person for you to marry?

Enjoy your reading. :)

Labels: , , , ,

Saturday, December 03, 2005

First Love

I have finally bought the mobile phone which I had been eying since it's launch in June 05. The price was what put me off or a long time. My heart went out for it but my mind said "no" each time, as it was too expensive then.

Even before I bought it a few days ago, my mind still negotiated with my heart. I almost bought another much cheaper model, but at the last seconds I changed my mind at the registration counter. It's kind of funny to me... as if I changed my mind just seconds before saying "I do" at the ROM (Registration of Marriage). :P Gosh!!

What made me changed my mind? I guess it's my 'first love'.

Somebody once told me that he realizes something about himself; which is, he always ended up selecting his initiate choice after going through the hassle of selections... be it food, places to go, things to buy, even the person he married. So he learned that the moral of the story for him is to stick to his 'first love'... it will never be wrong.

Hmmn... to some extend true for most people I think.

What's so special about "first love"? (Btw, I am referring to real "love", not "infatuation".)

A person may "fall in love" many times but I guess he/she only truly loves one person deeply. So I guess "first love" is pure, sincere, no ulterior motive, always giving, sacrificial...

Who is my "first love"?

Well, I am extremely tired tonight... let me sleep on it...

Goodnight.

Labels: ,

Friday, December 02, 2005

Putting Your Past Behind

Someone sent me the link to the article below yesterday. As I read the story about the author's therapy with Samuel (his patient) I just felt like crying. For it reminded me of how I gave my hurts to Jesus the last time. It's really a very powerful way to be healed emotionally. Although I didn't go through such a therapy, but I did mentally and emotionally give my hurts and the one who hurt me to Jesus. That was how I got over things very quickly. I like the following song....


Are you tried of chasing pretty rainbows?
are you tired of spinning round and round?
wrap up all the shattered dreams of your life
and at the feet of Jesus lay them down.

Chorus:
Give them all, Give them all,
give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, broken toys
give them all, give them all,
give them all to Jesus
and he will turn your sorrow into joy

He never said you would only see sunshine
he never said there would be no rain
he only promised us a heart full of singing
that's the very thing that once brought pain.


For those who have got their past hurts haunting them and stunting their growth, making them unable to move forward, I would recommend they follow the detail instruction stated in this article. The followings are only excerpts of the therapy...


How to Take a Hurt (Bitter Root) to Jesus


Just How Does a Person "Put the Past Behind"?

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (12:15).

What comprises these "bitter roots?" They consist of traumatic experiences of pain, distress, disappointment, guilt, etc. That starts the seed of bitterness growing. And without a good resolution to that trauma, once afflicted, the bitter memories and how we represent those memories in our minds-and-bodies can keep a person continually torn up with that pain as much as if the person continued to go through that experience. And so it grows like a poisonous root. And as it does it makes toxic and bitter more and more facets of the person's life.

Samuel's guilt and grief arose from a very bitter root that had long driven his behavior. Grief, guilt, bitterness, low self-esteem, co-dependency, sexual compulsions, eating disorders, etc., indicate bitter roots at work in people's lives. These pains almost always hark back to some specific event, interaction, or hurt and then continue to grow and take on a life of their own by the way we internally represent them ("as a man thinks in his heart...." so he increasingly becomes!).

Yes, a person can love Jesus and live as a devout Christian and still have bitter roots of hurt and ugliness continue to control one's emotions, states, and behaviors. For that very reason, the Hebrew writer wrote that we "see to it" that we don't miss out on the grace of God due to some poisoning, toxifying bitter root. These bitter roots, for the most part, work unconsciously within us and so often require therapeutic assistance in uncovering and resolving them.


Taking a Bitter Root to Jesus

All of our negative memories come coded in some unique mental codings of each person. Christians who have "Jesus" (their images, understandings, representations of Jesus) coded in their minds have their own unique system of making that internal representation.

1) First, take one of your fingers (or if you use this to assist someone else to make these transformations of the heart, they have them take one of their fingers) and point to where you see yourself (and/or someone else) in the painful memory or "bitter root." You will point to that memory and identify its location. Now, point with the other hand at the location of Jesus.

2) Next, only move your eyes, but not your head, so that you move the image of the hurt or the "bitter root" so that it shifts to the same location that you have of Jesus. As you do this, move your hand as you make this shift. As you move the image of the hurt into the same location of Jesus, turn the image of the hurt into the same codings that you have for Jesus. As you do, say something like this to yourself, "Now, as I give this person to Jesus, I will notice how Jesus receives that person unto Himself fully and completely. And I allow that person in my mind to begin to look just like Jesus in terms of having the same location, brightness, color, etc."


De-Briefing The Process

Several factors take place in this procedure. First, you utilize the healing power of the Holy Spirit, i.e., Jesus indwelling the Christian. Second, the truth of the Word of God, and the individual Christian's belief in that Word, become actualized as you quote pertinent passages that direct yourself or another to give the "bitter root" to Jesus. The techniques of NLP simply provide the conduits for the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

Third, you utilize not only your belief in the Lord, but also all the resources gathered from having lived a life of faith. Often I have clients share with me how the Holy Spirit will bring to their memory specific spiritual experiences or passages of scripture during this procedure.

Fourth, you cooperate with God's creative process as you work with the neurological processes of the human mind in directing yourself to change the mental codings and word meanings of the "bitter root" into the mental codings of Jesus and higher level word meanings you have about Jesus.

Fifth, by placing the content of a bitter root image into the image of Jesus/God, one is meta-stating the lower image of the hurt with the higher frame of the image of Jesus/God. The more powerful (meta-level) structure of the image of Jesus/God will modulate/change/over power the image of the hurt. A person who holds faith in the Lord Jesus cannot hold any kind of a bitter root in His presence. The Lord will win every time.

Labels: ,